Blackboard with Sex in Class - so what are we teaching?

Sex in Class

Sex Ed when I was at school was not very thorough at all. In fact I can’t really remember much more than the basics being taught in science. From memory it was section 6.6 and there was always a lot of talk, and a lot of build up, and then a lot of anti-climax. I learnt some from friends and some from problem pages in magazines like ‘Patches’ and ‘Just Seventeen’, but mostly I learnt from doing. I devised a rating system on a scale of 1-5 to communicate with others ‘the level’ we had ‘gone to.’ Perhaps I was […]

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Reading

Reading, sexuality and submission

Reading can spur a lot of erotic emotions, thoughts, and actions. Write about the books, magazines, or other reading materials that have shaped your sexuality. The first book to shape my sexuality was Nancy Friday’s ‘Forbidden Flowers’. I had masturbated before, and had even orgasmed before I knew what it was, but friends I spoke to listened carefully and then denied they did anything themselves. I read that book and I knew that I wasn’t alone. It opened my eyes to a world where girls could think bad stuff that turned them on. These were women who knew what they […]

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fear

Fear of acceptance

My biggest fear is that I won’t be accepted. I have a deep-rooted need for approval that can actually be quite destructive. It has been with me for as long as I can remember. The recurring nightmare I had as a child was of me trying to do something and failing, watched by those I cared about, who made their disappointment evident. They did this not by telling me and shouting and making a scene, but by the tone of their words, by the look in the eyes, and by the way their body language told me they had given […]

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self-host

Self-host: Move it or lose it

Why self-host? This morning I had a message from my friend sweetgirl, who had woken up to find her blog suspended by WordPress, with no warning and no explanation. This is a recurring theme, and hoping that it doesn’t happen to you is not going to protect you. There is a push out there to remove adult content from many of the platforms we use, and WordPress and Blogger have the reputation of simply getting rid of blogs like ours, without a sniff of warning. Sweetgirl was lucky enough to have a short window where she could recover some of […]

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accessories

Look for the Bare Accessories

I was reflecting at the weekend on accessories and the part they can have in locating or keeping the right mindset for play. This was not due to anything particularly profound, but more mundanely down to the fact that I wrote a post on Accessories and Mindset for The SafeworD/s Club. This was really the precursor to a chat we held last night on the same topic, where it became clear that despite knowing the importance and effect, the theory if you will, most of us were not instilling the required effort to utilise these great tools of the trade. […]

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submission

Submission and how it works for me

I have written a lot on this blog about submission. That is not surprising as my blog is essentially an account of my life as a submissive wife. It is about the love, the kink and the connection and that is what submission gives me. I could have the love without it, I could have the kink without it, but I know that I would never get the connection without it and that without that, the other two would not run as deeply within me as they do. That being said, I have made no secret of the fact that […]

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Laughter and Orgasms

I know they say that laughter is the best medicine and really this is not such a surprise. But when I tried to think of things which had made me laugh this week, I found it quite hard. That is not to say that I don’t laugh, but it tends to be at circumstantial things and they are not always what others would find humourous. In addition, some of the things I laugh about are not very PC. I have a dry sense of humour, sometimes a bit dark and often a little naughty. You can see where I am […]

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celibacy

Celibacy: A piece of the past

When I saw that this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt was celibacy, I thought that I had nothing to write. It wasn’t until I read May More’s post, Being Celibate, Love and Sex, that I realised that I had, like her, been celibate for a large chunk of time during my previous marriage. I had not seen this as celibacy until now. I had seen celibacy as a choice, and had not made the connection with it also being about the repeated rejection of me on a sexual level. It seems short-sighted of me not to see that connection but I […]

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