The Real Me


It is interesting that people form an opinion of you and that rarely seems to change, even when your behaviour and actions don’t seem to support it. I think that for some reason some of my family members don’t see the real person that I am, despite them having evidence from the things that I do. I am not sure that this has very much to do with Domination and submission, although I do feel that as I submissive I have become more confident and comfortable in being the true me. I also feel that living with the dynamic as we do, has made me better able to have the serenity to continue to behave in a way which reflects who I am, rather than being disheartened that I seem to be seen as being less caring, less thoughtful and less kind than I would like to be. Continue reading

All that glitters ……

glittersBeware the false prophets. One of the reasons I gave for starting my blog was that when I started out on this journey, I found it difficult to find reliable information about living in a D/s relationship. There was plenty erotic fiction of course, but that centred around wealthy, mind-reading Dominants who knew you were submissive before you knew yourself and who whisked you off to a classy BDSM club where a host of lovely new submissive friends waited to support you and encourage you on your journey. Not hard to find a happily ever after there! The other source of information was factual and existed on a variety of websites and non-fiction publications, but it seemed to centre around total power exchange relationships where the submissive had a contract and followed a precise set of instructions to the letter, for the time that she was with the Dominant – usually this was just for an pre-arranged evening or a weekend, which left her time to do her shopping, pay her bills, and presumably collect the kids from school.  Continue reading

More about the sex


Since writing All about the sex? where I explained that although sex is part of our dynamic, there are other key parts too that I feel can sometimes be overlooked, a couple of conversations and a couple of comments have made me think a bit more about sex and the role it plays in our relationship. I think the post came as a reaction to some people who seem to judge D/s by how much play there is, the sort of kinks you are into and the duration and frequency of the scenes that you have. I suppose I wanted to be clear that the way we would measure things ourselves would be to look at the foundations – communication, respect, honesty and trust – as that is what brings about the intimacy and strong connection that we feel both emotionally and physically. Continue reading

All about the sex?

DsIs it all about the sex-

I guess that the truth is: sex sells. And in our society that seems to be the case whether you are selling a car, a bottle of perfume, an ice-cream, or a relationship. If you look around you, it is often difficult to separate the sexy images from the product they are advertising, and if you are to search online for images to do with Domination and submission, plenty will depict sexy looking people in suggestive poses wearing nothing more than a set of cuffs or a collar, seemingly about to engage in the best sex of their lives. Now I would be lying if I did not admit that I too have engaged in the best sex I have ever had since embarking upon this journey, but really that is only a part of what I think that this thing is about.  Continue reading

The Whisperphone


Sometimes in life there are lovely moments that make you think. I tend not to write too much about many of these for fear of ‘outing’ myself; rather I keep my personal details so very personal that I can still be missy and not the other me. I am going to make an exception for the ‘whisperphone’ as I think that it represents something that I feel strongly about, and that is perception. Trying to work with people to shift their perception is a big part of what I do for a living and trying to keep my own perception of events the way I want them to be is also something I strive to do, so it is a topic that is significant to me.  Continue reading

Discipline and Punishment

Recently I signed up for Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s. I have to say that this is a great resource for those looking to find out more about dominance and submission or those who want to get started in a D/s relationship, but I think it can also useful for people who have been doing this for a while to help get you thinking about where you are and what the basic foundations of your D/s are. Each day you are asked a new question and there are links attached to help you to do your own research if you wish. The one that came last Thursday was about punishment, and I know that I am a little behind as we have been away together celebrating His Lordship’s birthday, but I thought it was interesting so I wanted to post about it. The question was: “As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship? As a Dominant, are you willing to require discipline or give out punishment? What kinds of punishments can you imagine for bad behavior?Continue reading


In his recent post, What’s the Kick?,  HisLordship wrote,”I like seeing my wife on display for me, and for kicks I like to think of sharing that experience with others.” This has got me to thinking about where this could actually go and I have to admit that it is met by me with a mixture of fear and excitement. A lot of the things that turn me on are to do with feeling a degree of Humiliation so I do get the idea of others seeing what is happening and therefore enhancing the experience, but really I am torn. The truly submissive side of me would probably agree like a shot but the more rational sensible side which my natural submissive shares with the mother, the teacher the daughter etc pushes back through a sense of self preservation. To be exposed within my other communities would not be a positive step for me right now and it is not something that I want to do.  Continue reading