Discipline and Punishment


Recently I signed up for Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s. I have to say that this is a great resource for those looking to find out more about dominance and submission or those who want to get started in a D/s relationship, but I think it can also useful for people who have been doing this for a while to help get you thinking about where you are and what the basic foundations of your D/s are. Each day you are asked a new question and there are links attached to help you to do your own research if you wish. The one that came last Thursday was about punishment, and I know that I am a little behind as we have been away together celebrating His Lordship’s birthday, but I thought it was interesting so I wanted to post about it. The question was: “As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship? As a Dominant, are you willing to require discipline or give out punishment? What kinds of punishments can you imagine for bad behavior?Continue reading

Exposure


In his recent post, What’s the Kick?,  HisLordship wrote,”I like seeing my wife on display for me, and for kicks I like to think of sharing that experience with others.” This has got me to thinking about where this could actually go and I have to admit that it is met by me with a mixture of fear and excitement. A lot of the things that turn me on are to do with feeling a degree of Humiliation so I do get the idea of others seeing what is happening and therefore enhancing the experience, but really I am torn. The truly submissive side of me would probably agree like a shot but the more rational sensible side which my natural submissive shares with the mother, the teacher the daughter etc pushes back through a sense of self preservation. To be exposed within my other communities would not be a positive step for me right now and it is not something that I want to do.  Continue reading

It’s all in the head – the psychological side of sex

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I think that for many couples, the way that each of them becomes aroused can be very different.  With us, that is definitely the case as HisLordship is much more turned on by the physical and I am much more likely to be stimulated by the psychological aspects. For me, it really is all in my head, or a lot of it is anyway. This difference can be seen through our approach to sex too as he will tend to seek an emotional connection through sex, whereas I will tend to seek sex more when I feel there is already a strong emotional connection. I think that for some couples this can make things hard and that is why the D/s works well as the physical and emotional connections are continually being reinforced through the power exchange, so both are present and the two aspects become much more entwined than in the type of relationship that we had before.  Continue reading

Expectations

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To have expectations can be a great thing. It allows you to set standards and to measure where you are in terms of meeting your targets. Within a D/s relationship expectations are really important as they are a key part of the commitment that you are making to the other person. It will be expected that you do and provide certain things and these things will be clearly communicated and, hopefully, reinforced by their response to them. However, in this sort of relationship the expectations on you both are really high and sometimes they cannot be met for whatever reason. This can lead to a strong feeling that you have messed up or let someone down.  Continue reading

Femininity

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I have been thinking a little more about what I wrote in my previous post about the fact that feeling feminine also made me feel sexy. I concluded that was part of the reason the D/s worked for us but that was something that I haven’t really thought much about before. I have also come across some discussion recently about femininity and what that means and I suppose that was also in the back of my mind. I definitely feel sexier since we have been D/s and I attribute a lot of this to the work that HisLordship has put in to how I see myself. He has certainly helped me to tackle some of the body issues that I have and by exposing my vulnerability, has enabled me to grow in confidence. But I think that it is more than that and some of it is because I generally feel more feminine in terms of my behaviour. Continue reading

Come Fly With Me

il_340x270.595868837_gyodA journey always allows time for reflection and the way home from a nice few days break was no exception to this.  I am not sure why, but a flight out of Heathrow always includes a long period waiting for takeoff. With a window seat you become quite aware of your place in the queue and have a good vantage point to watch all the other aircraft beginning their ascent. It seems that little happens for a while and then, with a massive expense of energy, the plane moves gathering energy, and is quickly airborne. This always gives me a real sense of being small in comparison to the world but also reminds me of the potential for something amazing to happen. I am not scientific in any way and the whole experience of flight, whilst a regularly commonplace occurrence, always seems a bit unbelievable at the same time. As we burst through the cloud line to sit above it, it made me think of the way I see our relationship.  Continue reading

Taking a Trip

Going away with HisLordship always makes me feel close to him. Today we set off for a few days away to visit his parents. Unfortunately this was not a full on holiday in the sun (if only) but rather a quick trip to the other end of the country, so it has only involved a short flight and a rise in temperature at the other end of about 4 degrees but it is still nice to be away together and doing something different. I suppose that being out of your usual environment means that you see each other in a slightly different way. Also, because everything is a little more formal you seem to behave very clearly as a couple or a family. And I don’t know what it is, but somehow the holiday feeling quickly touches you and you feel more relaxed and ready to have fun.  Continue reading