submissive journal

Keeping a Submissive Journal

During the first few years of submission I dipped in and out of keeping a submissive journal. It seemed like the right thing to do. I read that it was and I was told that it was, so like the good little submissive I was, I tried it. I can’t […]

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relax

Relax – recovery will come

Feeling relaxed is hard right now. There is a layer under the surface which never rests, never sleeps. I have tried yoga, and masturbation. I have tried walking and reading. I have tried new projects and focusing my energies into changing things and taking back control, but there is a […]

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process emotions - F Scott Fitzgerald quote

Writing to process emotions

A block on the blog front Writing, blogging in my case, is a way to process my emotions and, in doing so, to deal with them. Recently there have been things that I wanted to say, but this has not been the forum for my words. It has been difficult […]

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COVID-19

What are we left with? – COVID-19

I wasn’t sure about taking part in Brigit’s prompt of Love and Life in the Times of Corona. I felt that I had written enough about COVID-19 and how it affected me at the beginning and I have sort of run out of steam with it, but really, that should […]

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Love, life, music

Love, life and music

I don’t know where to start with the challenge of creating a soundtrack to my life. I have loved and listened to so many different tracks and artists over the time and many of have developed a personal significance to me. I suppose there are always moments which stand out […]

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Being missy - Me, myself and her

Me, myself, and her – being missy

She is me and very much me, but I am not always her. I don’t know if that makes sense or not but I hope that it does. Being missy is an important part of me and, really, she has always been there although I didn’t see her there before […]

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picture perfect

Picture Perfect – avoiding the negatives

My issues with my body mean that things are never going to be picture perfect for me. The chances of any picture meeting the grade are slim, and there are always a lot of casualties along the way. This is hard for HL, who is often the photographer. I get […]

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libido on lockdown

Is my Libido on Lockdown?

I had hoped that being isolated with HL all day would allow us to ramp things up a bit sexually, but the current lockdown seems to have had the opposite effect and led to a loss in libido. I am not sure if I am alone in this, but it […]

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seeing the sun hot tub

Seeing the sun

Things recently have been tough on all of us in different ways. In some senses it has felt that the slower, more basic pace of life has been a helpful breather, but in others, it is if we are existing in a pressure cooker of emotions. It has been a […]

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change

D/s on Lockdown – dealing with change

I have learnt, the hard way, that a D/s relationship is very susceptible to change. I know that all relationships require adjustments and tweaks in order to accommodate change, but I think, for us at least, the tight sense of structure and routine that supports a D/s lifestyle is easily […]

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Diary 1st April

Seven days in April ~ Day One

I know that today is not the 1st April, but this is an extract from the diary that I have been keeping. 1st April I woke at 3am again. This has been happening for the past three weeks. I try not to let my mind switch on, but something pricks […]

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Non-fiction

Non-fiction (that’s no a tale)

In thinking about a title for this piece I was reminded of my first teaching practice at a difficult inner city school. I had taken the class to the library and their task was to choose a non-fiction book to take out, read and review. One young girl looked around […]

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book worm

Book Worm

When I was young I was a bit of a book worm: I read, and I read, and I read. Even when I got older I still loved reading and would always have a fiction book or two on the go. I was never so much into non-fiction but have […]

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Spirituality and submission

Spirituality and submission

When talking about spirituality and submission, for me that is not to do with a particular religion or a particular faith. While I would say that I have a faith and I do hold with some religious beliefs, the older I have become, the less I have anything to do […]

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curves

Curves, Edges and Circles with no end

Cause all of meLoves all of youLove your curves and all your edgesAll your perfect imperfectionsGive your all to meI’ll give my all to youYou’re my end and my beginning John Legend When I thought about curves this was what came to mind and the more I thought about it, […]

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regrets - picture of a dandelion

Regrets

When I saw this topic I wasn’t sure that I would be able to write about it. I don’t tend to have regrets. In fact it probably isn’t that I don’t have them, but I don’t like to dwell on them. Sometimes, if the feeling is very strong then I […]

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A Love letter to HL

Dearest HL, I love it when you hurt me. When you make me weak with your weight and your strength and it is all too much for me. I resist for a while, but then I curl and acquiesce, overpowered by you. I revel in the glimpses of the need […]

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Mother of Adults

Mother to adults

Being a mother to adults is a role that I am not yet fully accustomed to. It feels a little like a slightly ill fitting shirt, something that I can make work but does not immediately feel like me. It is not uncomfortable, and there is something familiar but there […]

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sugar

Am I sweet enough? Another sugar story

Content warning: this post is about sugar and not about anything D/s or kink related. It is written for the second part of May More’s Food Matters series and it does also mention cancer, although only in relation to sugar. I wouldn’t say that I ever ate a lot of […]

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