A Dom in D/stress

lionI always love getting comments on what I write and on, A hard day made better, Sayyid’s Girl had asked if I could write about what happens when your husband has a bad or stressful day. I think that this is something that I have alluded to in a number of my posts, especially the ones about Active Submission and that is really what I would suggest, but sometimes it is harder than that. I think that what you do has to be tailored to suit the situation that has occurred, but having had a period where things have been quite stressful, especially for Sir, I thought that I could probably give a bit more in the way of specific examples.  Continue reading


A hard day made better

Today was a hard day. Things were full on at work and I also felt undermined by a couple of people. I took it to my manager and that didn’t make me feel any better as I didn’t feel supported.  I also had some strange scenarios to manage. You know those ones where what happens is so odd it seems that it wouldn’t happen but you know that it just did? Well that was my day – the working part at least. I did what I always do and sent Sir a message to let him know – at that point I was angry about how I had been treated but later on it turned to me feeling more emotional because I felt let down. Continue reading

New Term New Rules

New TermNew Rules

They are not really new rules, but with the start of the new term and my return to work, I was worried that I needed to have more structure in order to help with the change that it was going to bring. The holidays have been wonderful as HisLordship and I have been able to spend so much time relaxing together, but a lot of the rules and rituals that we had in place have been relaxed as they were not really required in the same way. Even the times that we set aside to talk, evaluate and review our D/s have not had to fit into the same routine as during the term time, because there has been so much more opportunity to talk at other times in the day.  Continue reading

Under the Surface


I have felt horny all week. Somehow I just can’t seem to get enough of HisLordship. The kids are still here but the parents have now left and I feel like I just need to regroup. We have tried to catch time together and have managed a little during the day. Most of the private time has not been until we were in bed though, and I can’t say that we haven’t made the most of that both at bedtime and in the morning, but somehow it isn’t stopping the need. That need is something that has always been there in our relationship and is a recurring theme for me. The D/s has made it stronger of course and I do love it. Although I feel both physically and emotionally needy of him, that is a feeling that I have come to identify as being healthy for us. It has become a sign that things are working and that we are on the right track.  Continue reading

Little Missy Middle

This is really part 2 to yesterday’s post, The girl in me but I sort of ran into writing too much so I decided to break it down. I said there that I had identified with some of the aspects of a DD/lg dynamic but not necessarily the activities, and this had caused me some confusion. I also wrote about the way that labels make me feel so this post is me defining what this part of me means for me. Whether I fit into anyone else’s box or not matters little because it is about who, what and how I am that matters to HisLordship and I. If someone else reading can see a similarity to themselves and feel reassured that they are not alone, then so much the better. Continue reading

The girl in me


In The faces of my submission I spoke about the part of me that is the girl who wants to be taken care of, who wants to be looked after, doesn’t really want to have to be strong or deal with the adult stuff, and is happy to be led around by the hand and just enjoy being his. I said that this part also has a naughty side that wants to get up to mischief in a childish way and explained that Sir leaves me free to do that by taking on the responsible adult role. This part of me has always been there, but for many years it wasn’t really safe to explore that. In my first marriage I had to be so firmly the responsible adult that the weight of it nearly pulled me under. Afterwards, as a single parent with three young children, it was actually easier and there were glimmers again of situations where I could indulge those feelings, but mostly for those years, it was only through engagement with my kids that I could really explore it and it was in a very contained and controlled sort of way.  Continue reading

Lost and found


I feel lost, although I am not lost; I know where I am and so does HisLordship, but I am somewhere a little out of reach right now. Usually my posts are positive. They may be as a result of a problem but usually they are reflective of the event and the outcome is positive because whatever the situation is, it has been resolved to some degree by the time that I write about it. This time I am writing from the middle of the situation so it is a bit different. I have chosen to do this partly because I think it is important to show a real picture of how things are and also because part of my holiday rules from Sir is to write a post at least every two days and, as my last was now four days ago, I have failed with that.  Continue reading