submissive journal

Keeping a Submissive Journal

During the first few years of submission I dipped in and out of keeping a submissive journal. It seemed like the right thing to do. I read that it was and I was told that it was, so like the good little submissive I was, I tried it. I can’t […]

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erotic photography and where it fits

Erotic photography and where it fits

This post is about erotic photography and where it fits within our D/s dynamic. I have written about photography before, including pieces about publishing images, and also some pieces which touch on how it can make me feel with regard to my submission to HL. Over the years I have […]

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Where’s the Discipline?

In a D/s relationship the term discipline really covers quite a broad range of areas. While the one which springs to mind would be about rules and the subsequent punishment thereof, there are other areas where it plays a significant part. In my post about Training for The Safeword/s Club, […]

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pleasure like this

I have never known pleasure like this

‘Many of us pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that we hurry past it.’ Søren Kierkegaard The sexual pleasure that came with the practice of Dominance and submission, sort of hit me in a way which was both unexpected but familiar. It was like something I had always known was possible was but […]

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Offering an act of service

Acts of Service

I wrote about service before, back in August 2017, when I had various revelations about the fact that, despite believing that I was not a service sub, there were elements of my relationship which were acts of service and had a service function to them. My revelations came really due […]

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D/s on Lockdown – dealing with change

I have learnt, the hard way, that a D/s relationship is very susceptible to change. I know that all relationships require adjustments and tweaks in order to accommodate change, but I think, for us at least, the tight sense of structure and routine that supports a D/s lifestyle is easily […]

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wax play

Wax play – burning for it?

Ok I am going to start by saying that while I like wax play, I am not totally into it. I surprised myself by this as I have always loved candles – the look, the feel, the thought. I assumed that because I had played with fire as a child, […]

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Being Respectful

The Tell Me About topic this time is respect and usually I would write about respect in a D/s relationship. But I already did that in this post. I could also write about respecting the rules, but I already did that in this post. Respect is a big thing for […]

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Edge Play

On the Edge play

Content Notice: This post contains details of edge play including knife play, needle play, CNC and breath play. What is edgy for one is not necessarily edgy for another and this post has come at a time when I am not feeling at my most edgy. So consider this a […]

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Codependency - couple with his arm around her

A couple of things about Codependency

I have written a post about codependency and D/s for The SafeworD/s Club which focusses on what makes a healthy relationship, and what a codependent D/s relationship might look like in contrast. I made the point in that post that although some people would see a power exchange as being […]

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romance - extract from valentine by carol ann duffy


I thought that I would start with the Carol Ann Duffy poem, ‘Valentine’ because, through her metaphysical interpretation, she turns on its head our preconceptions of romance, and I have always quite liked that. In comparing love to an onion, she covers many of the aspects of relationships which are […]

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used as ornament - objectification

Objectification as a Kink

I have an objectification kink.  I always feel a bit embarrassed about that because it seems wrong to want such a thing, but then again I guess a lot kink seems a little wrong, in a good way of course.  I don’t enjoy just any objectification though so it has […]

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submissive mindset

Submissive mindset and other thinking parts

So what is a submissive mindset? Generally there is quite a bit of reference on D/s sites to mindset. To me, having a submissive mindset is about the way that I think. It is a state that I am in which is determined by what is going on around about […]

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Control and D/s - the beginning and the end of everything

Control and D/s

The topic this time for Tell Me About is control. I really don’t know if I have any more to say on the subject. And yet I probably do. Why? Well because control is the beginning and the end of everything in D/s really. You can’t have a D/s relationship […]

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Reset or reality

I am struggling to write about resets. I realise that we have not reset for a long time and that leads me to consider why. It would be good if I could say that it was because things were going so well with our D/s dynamic that it was not […]

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What is a scene?

So tell me, what is a scene?

I was asked some time ago what a scene was. The question came via a comment on my blog and the commenter said she had searched my blog for more information or some sort of definition.  I promised at the time that a post would follow but here I am, […]

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Anal – A slow and careful undoing

I have written a lot about anal and wondered if I still had anything to say on the matter. But when I thought about it, I can see how much this is an area which has grown in significance as part of our D/s.  Looking back now at how far […]

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I get by with a little help from my friends

I have always enjoyed having friends in the real world and for a time, when I was unhappy in my former marriage, friendships were what I focussed on and what kept me going. I was a bit of a party girl, hosting events and organising get togethers and dinners whenever […]

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public play

Public Play

Public play is something that we both find quite interesting and therefore, it might seem strange that we  have not done more of it. Although we have had a couple of opportunities and have give it a go, it is not something that has become much of a feature of […]

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Living in a D/s power exchange

Living in a D/s Power Exchange

What is a power exchange An agreed power exchange is what makes our relationship a Dominant and submissive one. Most relationships consider themselves to be equal ones which means that each partner takes it in turns to lead. Some may consider themselves more traditional where the male always takes the […]

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