Pleasure from Pain

Howler

I used to think that I had a high pain threshold but since starting this journey and talking to some masochists I am less clear about that. I think that I have a good level but when you play in the safety of your own home, without an audience, you really don’t have much to compare it with.  I know that I like the ache of his nipple clamps.  I know that I enjoy the sting of his hand, the slap of his crop and the thud of his paddle. I also know that I melt at the pull of my hair and the fire of his cane and that sometimes I burn to feel pleasure in the way that only the edge of pain can bring me. However, I do think that although sometimes I feel that I need the pain, it brings the pleasure to me, rather than being pleasure on its own.
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Consensual Non-Consent

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This is a post for a number of reasons.  It is partly a follow on from my last post on Consent and D/s which became too long to add anything else. It is also partly in response to last weekend when we were away together and HisLordship requested the presence of the birthday Elf. And finally, I received another prompt during the week as part of the Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s and it asked about consent and consensual non-consent.  Whatever the stimulus, one way or another I have had a week where I was not able to read anything never mind write anything, so it has taken a long time in coming.  Continue reading

Consent and D/s

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Consent is a serious topic and it is a complicated and contentious area in BDSM. For us consent is always present unless a safe word is used, but in reality Sir would never ask me to do something that I didn’t want to. The level of trust we have is huge and it means that consent is not really something that we think about, so for me personally, I take a pretty relaxed view. At work, however, I have to make sure that young people understand the importance of making sure that consent in present at the time. We also make sure that they know what the law surrounding sex and consent means for them. One of the great resources we use compares consent to having a cup of tea and this helps to make the point. So I suppose I want to make it clear that what I am writing about here is about how consent works in our D/s marriage, and to make the point that I don’t advocate this being appropriate for other types of relationship, and that I realise our practices may leave us on the wrong side of the law, if it ever came to that.  Continue reading

Hot Stuff


So I got my need met, and some. As it turned out, Sir had planned to play anyway so my cry for help was well timed.  I thought, actually that he hadn’t seen my post as I published it just before we started watching a film together with my daughter.  After that we went to bed and he hadn’t mentioned anything about it so I assumed that he had not read it.  I guess he did this while I was in the bath or when I was waiting for him to come through.  He had told me to lie on top of the covers to wait for him. He handed me a garter to wear on my right leg and told me how he wanted to find me upon his return.  Continue reading

A need to be used

I often feel that things build for me physically until I get to the point that I have a need for something more extreme.  This can be all consuming sometimes and it feels like it will only be properly satisfied by being physically overwhelmed by HisLordship.  I suppose it is a bit of a reset but I don’t think that I become bratty in the hope of attracting discipline as it is more of a sexual thing. It feels that it is more about my body than my mind, although I realise that the two are closely linked in terms of the needs being met by his Dominance of me. Continue reading

Kinkless Sex

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Sometimes it seems that there is a lot of focus in D/s relationships on kinky sex. Personally, Sir and I love being kinky and exploring that previously denied part of ourselves. But not all sex has to be kinky, and I think that when you enjoy a frequent and regular physical connection, it is not possible to keep things on the edge all of the time. There are some things that we would always want to include in our exchanges and I think that both of us struggle now to really get much from it when things are completely vanilla but as long as there is a twist of Domination and submission there, then we end up feeling pretty satisfied. Continue reading

Sensory Scene

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I am pretty excited as I had not expected a scene today but Sir told me an hour ago that he wanted me to be ready. Having prepared myself, I enter the room.  He holds me for a while and tells me that he loves me and that he is going to abuse me a little. He turns me around to face the full length mirrored wardrobe doors and strokes me. I am looking at his face but he tells me to look at my body while he touches me and tells me how much he likes it. He tells me how hard I make him and already I am leaving myself behind and relaxing into just being his. He has set up the play bench and he instructs me to sit down on it and then he places a blindfold across my eyes. He tells me to lie down on my back and he lifts my legs up and bends them at the knee and opens them so that I am exposed to him. Next he reminds me of my safe-words, places a set of headphones on my ears and soon all that I hear is the sound of Morcheeba.  Continue reading