Vulnerability and connection

Vulnerability and Connection

Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection I have posted before about vulnerability, and for me it has been significant to the success of my submission. Allowing myself to be vulnerable for HisLordship, and letting him see the real me, has been significant. Doing this has given him the opportunity to empathise with me, acknowledge my needs, and build a stong connection. I have often said that D/s has given me an intensity and an intimacy that I never thought I would have with another person, and I firmly believe that this is to […]

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At of listening

The Art of Listening

A really important part of a successful relationship is effective communication. Although we begin learning how to communicate with those who are around about us and will support us and meet our needs from a very young age, many of us are not truly effective at communication. Communication is a two way thing which involves listening as well as talking, therefore it is important that you are able to receive information as well as to send it. For lots of us, we tend to practice one much more than the other. Some people find talking about themselves and their feelings […]

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Explore

Explore with me?

Go on then. Here I am she said excitedly. Take me and break me and bend me and shape me. Anything you want. Any way you want. I am yours. I belong to you now. Exciting isn’t it? You could do this or you could so that. You might want to try this and you might want to try that. I like these things and am keen on those things. I’ve always wanted to try doing this and have had fantasies forever about that. I hid it and I didn’t tell anyone but I am telling you now.  I am […]

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Roots Revisited

….we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.  ‎Louis de Bernières In my post, Roots, I wrote about the impact that change and loss had on our relationship and in particular, the way that it impacted on our dynamic. The post was written back in January of 2017 so well over a year and a half ago now. Wow. What I thought when I wrote then would be a temporary change turned out to become a way of life […]

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Respect the Rules

Rules are pretty key to our relationship, although even without that I am a person who likes to have rules to follow. I suppose that is why a D/s marriage works so well for me as having rules and structure makes me feel safe. It makes sense of things and makes me feel as though I have a focus and can get things done. Without this I can feel a bit all over the place and it puts my stress levels right up. Essentially I feel better when I respect the rules. I think it is hard to stick to […]

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Lifestyle Submissive

I would term myself as a lifestyle submissive. To me this means that I am submissive to my husband 24/7; this is not to say that I am actively submitting every minute of every day. I work and I sleep and I do the regular things that people do. What it does mean is that I am ready to submit to him at any point during that time. It means that I put his needs first and think about what will make him happy. That sounds like it could be a bit one sided but actually a D/s dynamic requires […]

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long distance D/s

From a Distance

The topic for our chat last night on The SWC was D/s from a Distance. Basically the focus was on how you keep the dynamic going and make it work when you are not physically together. This is something that we have talked about before on a number of occasions and we have shared different suggestions of things that people do in order to keep the emotional connection close. I guess that I have been thinking about the closeness of some of the friendships I have build online where I have never met the person face to face. The feelings […]

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Maintaining my Mindset

I am having some trouble maintaining my mindset at the moment. This does happen sometimes, usually when the stuff of life has de-railed us somewhat from the goal of our happily ever after. Some of these things are surmountable and other things seem to be less so. This has been a pattern over the last couple of years where we have had more significant life issues to deal with and a stream of what feels a bit like never ending bad luck. Of course we do realise that we are lucky really, and that the important things are right here […]

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