independent submissive

An independent submissive

Being independent and submissive I have struggled to resolve my independence with my submission at points and I know that I am not alone in this. Being an independent person and a submissive can cause a certain amount of confusion, certainly initially. So much of what we read of the […]

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Discipline

Where’s the Discipline?

In a D/s relationship the term discipline really covers quite a broad range of areas. While the one which springs to mind would be about rules and the subsequent punishment thereof, there are other areas where it plays a significant part. In my post about Training for The Safeword/s Club, […]

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this is my truth

This is my Truth

Truth is important to me. Truth really is everything to me. Your truth is significant but my truth is essential. I am not keen on those who twist the truth and try to deceive others. I find them slippery and would rather deal with someone who was able to own […]

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curious about Dominance and submission

Curious about Dominance and submission?

Judging by my recent google visits, I would say that there are quite a few people out there currently who are curious about Dominance and submission. There are lots of myths about what D/s is and isn’t and so I thought that it would be a good idea to bust […]

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Moments in Time

These moments in time

I think that one of the important things I have applied to my relationship with HL is about moments. I came to realise that a lot of what was positive in a relationship came from taking those little thoughts that I have, the random flashes, and committing to making them […]

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encouraging dominance

5 things that encourage Dominance

If you are like me, Dominance might be something that you crave. If you are also like me, it might be something that you ask your partner for. In my case he said yes and he did become my Dom. But it is not always the case that wanting is […]

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dreams

I have spread my dreams under your feet

I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. These lines are taken from one of my favourite poems, The Cloths of Heaven by W B Yeats. I wrote a short piece about the poem before and when I did, described my dreams […]

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Collar and Cuffs

Collar and Cuffs

Despite the fact that I wear a day collar all the time as a symbol of my submission to HL, we use collars and cuffs less these days than in the past and, thinking about it now, this is something that I would like to change.  The collar I wear […]

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At the centre

At the Centre: being the stars of your own show

We are at the centre. And that has been, and remains, our secret. Staying at the centre is a knack, that’s for sure, but it’s made easier by the structure and the routine that we have. We have both been in relationships previously where we weren’t at the centre, where […]

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Ritual

Ritual

Wicked Wednesday prompt #364: Ritual What rituals do you have, and how have they changed you? Transformed you? Or are there rituals you feel nothing for, like marriage or baptising a child? Or maybe there are rituals that intrigue you, that are mysterious and ‘out of this world’. Share your thoughts […]

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Watch sinking in the sand. Time is running out

It’s that time

It’s that time. What I mean is, it is time for a change. Time for me to change or rather, time for me to be changed. And so, after a long discussion at the weekend, some changes have been put in place. I am ashamed to say that I think […]

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Vulnerability and connection

Vulnerability and Connection

Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection I have posted before about vulnerability, and for me it has been significant to the success of my submission. Allowing myself to be vulnerable for HisLordship, and letting him see the real me, has been […]

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At of listening

The Art of Listening

A really important part of a successful relationship is effective communication. Although we begin learning how to communicate with those who are around about us and will support us and meet our needs from a very young age, many of us are not truly effective at communication. Communication is a […]

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Explore

Explore with me?

Go on then. Here I am she said excitedly. Take me and break me and bend me and shape me. Anything you want. Any way you want. I am yours. I belong to you now. Exciting isn’t it? You could do this or you could so that. You might want […]

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Roots Revisited

….we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.  ‎Louis de Bernières In my post, Roots, I wrote about the impact that change and loss had on our relationship and […]

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Respect the Rules

Rules are pretty key to our relationship, although even without that I am a person who likes to have rules to follow. I suppose that is why a D/s marriage works so well for me as having rules and structure makes me feel safe. It makes sense of things and […]

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Lifestyle Submissive

I would term myself as a lifestyle submissive. To me this means that I am submissive to my husband 24/7; this is not to say that I am actively submitting every minute of every day. I work and I sleep and I do the regular things that people do. What […]

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long distance D/s

From a Distance

The topic for our chat last night on The SWC was D/s from a Distance. Basically the focus was on how you keep the dynamic going and make it work when you are not physically together. This is something that we have talked about before on a number of occasions […]

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Maintaining my mindset

Maintaining my Mindset

I am having some trouble maintaining my mindset at the moment. This does happen sometimes, usually when the stuff of life has de-railed us somewhat from the goal of our happily ever after. Some of these things are surmountable and other things seem to be less so. This has been […]

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