Confidence

Sex, submission and confidence

I have low confidence. That is not to say I am not confident in some things, knowledge about certain topics and stuff, but in myself, not really, no. I have quite low self esteem too. It is a fragile thing and although my life pretty much validates me, it is […]

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labels - love them or hate them

Labels – love them or hate them

The topic for Tell Me About this time is labels. Categorising and labelling in an essential part of our learning and understanding of what is going on around us. It helps us to link things and by understanding similarities and differences within and between these categories, to arrive more quickly […]

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independent submissive

An independent submissive

Being independent and submissive I have struggled to resolve my independence with my submission at points and I know that I am not alone in this. Being an independent person and a submissive can cause a certain amount of confusion, certainly initially. So much of what we read of the […]

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stationery fetish

A stationery fetish

I think it was probably evident from my second to last post that life was getting on top of me. The propensity to adult and deal with adult things has been high. I feel I have hardly switched off and, where D/s would be my usual release, the times seem […]

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submissive journal

Keeping a Submissive Journal

During the first few years of submission I dipped in and out of keeping a submissive journal. It seemed like the right thing to do. I read that it was and I was told that it was, so like the good little submissive I was, I tried it. I can’t […]

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relax

Relax – recovery will come

Feeling relaxed is hard right now. There is a layer under the surface which never rests, never sleeps. I have tried yoga, and masturbation. I have tried walking and reading. I have tried new projects and focusing my energies into changing things and taking back control, but there is a […]

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Online community

Joining an online community

Memoir – Becoming a submissive wife Part 5 Joining an online D/s community was a huge step for us. We had been operating for the past few years on our own trying to make things stick. We had found a way in terms of our newly found commitment to making […]

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How do I encourage Dominance

How do I encourage Dominance? Reader question

How do you deal with a partner that struggles in being the Dominant? This issue is weighing on my marriage. I discovered my submissive personality and needs about 2 years into our marriage. We’re 15 years in now. I wasn’t this way when he married me but now I can’t […]

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honeymoon

Ready, steady, go – the honeymoon begins

Memoir – Becoming a submissive wife Part 4 Our honeymoon was mostly spent in the suite of a small hotel in the Florida Keys, serenaded by the sound of torrential rain storms caused by the tail end of a hurricane which had hit the Caribbean. Following a stressful build up, […]

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Bedroom only dominance and submission

Bedroom Only Dominance and submission

Memoir – Becoming a submissive wife Part 3 For one reason or another, despite our determination to embrace our version of bedroom only Dominance and submission, it was a bumpy ride to begin with. We were exposed to how well it could work, and there were more than snippets of […]

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Surrender

You tell me we will play later and I hear the anticipation in your voice. You smile and go back to what you are doing but when you stand up later you seem taller as you look down and say, “Bed?” with an upturn in your tone that means I […]

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Bottom half

Bottom Half

This time for the Fun Theme Photo Meme the theme is half. So here is a picture of my bottom half which, looking at most of my images, is probably the most posted part of me. According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and […]

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erotic photography and where it fits

Erotic photography and where it fits

This post is about erotic photography and where it fits within our D/s dynamic. I have written about photography before, including pieces about publishing images, and also some pieces which touch on how it can make me feel with regard to my submission to HL. Over the years I have […]

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How do I share my daddy?

How do I share my Daddy? Reader Question

How do I quell my jealous nature when I have to share my Daddy with his daughters? They are adults, but very much Daddy’s girls. I try to be the adult but I am his babygirl of 3 years now and we live together. It is becoming harder for me […]

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The magic of Dominance and submission

The Magic of Dominance and submission

It’s a kind of magic I don’t use the term magic here to mean wonderful and refer to the fact that I love living a D/s lifestyle – “It’s just magic, honest!” I mean it in terms of the mysterious, mystical nature; the spell that it seems to cast over […]

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How do I talk about my needs?

How do I talk about my needs? Reader Question

I have recently started thinking about the Dom/sub lifestyle. I’ve always liked stuff like that but thought it was wrong or not something I should get aroused or excited about, so I ignored that side of me. Recently my husband showed me his Dom side but I’m sure he thinks […]

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process emotions - F Scott Fitzgerald quote

Writing to process emotions

A block on the blog front Writing, blogging in my case, is a way to process my emotions and, in doing so, to deal with them. Recently there have been things that I wanted to say, but this has not been the forum for my words. It has been difficult […]

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bit gag

Wearing a bit gag

I stay away from gags usually. Firstly I like to talk and so to be silenced is not something which appeals. Secondly, I have a bit of a saliva-phobia and so the thought of not being able to swallow properly and allowing myself to dribble and drool a little, is […]

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feminism and submission

Feminism and submission

I have mixed feelings on the topic of feminism. I believe in equality of opportunity and in a society which is inclusive and non-discriminatory. I realise that our world is far from achieving these goals and am supportive of those who try to effect change in these areas. I grew […]

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Discipline

Where’s the Discipline?

In a D/s relationship the term discipline really covers quite a broad range of areas. While the one which springs to mind would be about rules and the subsequent punishment thereof, there are other areas where it plays a significant part. In my post about Training for The Safeword/s Club, […]

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