I can see clearly now the rain has gone


HisLordship was working away last week. Usually this would be something that would be hard to get through as the usual routine is disrupted and the time that you usually have to connect with each other is suddenly not available. Sometimes it will be easier than others of course. I think that those who have periods apart regularly or those who have done periods of long distance will have a bag of tools that they use in order to keep each other close, but some of us are not in that situation. Sir and I have been apart before of course but this is not a regular thing. There are other factors too such as access to a wifi connection when away and being in a compatible time zone, but usually we will plan for whatever is ahead and be creative in doing what we can to keep the closeness from a distance. Continue reading


My submission, His submissive, and the other kick-ass part that I don’t talk about

warriorRecently I have been thinking a lot about my submission and about the type of submissive I am. I seem to travel along quite happily doing my thing and then every so often I will stop to look around and think more deeply about it. This evaluation has always been an important part of my growth. Sometimes it is prompted by a change in circumstances, sometimes by a question someone has asked, or it could be because of something I have read.  I think that often all of these parts will work together as the thoughts will go round and round my head and I think and talk and read and mull things over. For me, these periods of reflection are often marked by a shift in thinking and I see them just as part of the learning process, so although I may sound confused, I actually see it as positive thing. Continue reading

What I wanted from D/s

HisLordship asked me the other day, why I had wanted D/s – in the beginning that is. This was actually something that I had been meaning to write about, somewhere in between my last few posts but time has not been my friend recently. I suppose it relates a bit to my last post where I wrote about the need to achieve a balance in your relationship which works for both of you. That involves being able to use your strengths while also being supported in the areas that are harder. This balance has to be achieved in the bedroom but also in the other areas of your relationship and I think that, really, was what initially attracted me to the idea of a Dominant submissive marriage.  Continue reading

Finding the Balance

balanceI was reading a post by sayyidsgirl this morning where she was talking about experimenting with Dominance and submission. She explained that her husband ‘wants a strong, confident woman by his side, who enjoys serving him,’ but that he also wants, ‘a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it, including him.’ I think that in some ways this is a conundrum that a number of the married couples who have adopted the dynamic as part of their relationship struggle with, and I think that this is why it can take quite some time to find the balance and the equilibrium between you which suits you both and allows you to grow together and move forward to it, while still preserving the parts of yourself that attracted you in the first place. Continue reading

Two New Rules


I wrote back a few weeks ago about us choosing to bring more discipline into our relationship. We have never been as rule focussed as some couples and therefore punishment has not played a big part, but recently we did decide to change this a bit. We have a lot of rules that have become second nature to us now and these revolve largely around behaviour which is respectful and considerate of HisLordship. He will pull me up for things that I do which don’t take account of this but largely speaking, I would say that I manage to meet his expectations most of the time. Continue reading

The shoot at Memory Lane — Spank Me Hard! … Please?

Thank you so much to my dear friend Lurvspanking who wrote this amazing short story for me.

This post is over the suggested word limit for Wicked Wednesday, but I hope Rebel won’t mind. I first met missy in August, 2016, a month after she started blogging as Submissy. What attracted me to her was not so much the topic(s) discussed, but rather the erudite style of her essays and the pithy […]

via The shoot at Memory Lane — Spank Me Hard! … Please?

A little reading goes a long way

mask quote

Last night we had set some time aside for each other as we had missed out for one reason or another. I guess that we both must have needed it because despite the stuff of life working to derail us with its usual tricks, we managed to get back to it and turn up the heat despite it all. I guess that perhaps HisLordship had taken some of my previous posts as food for thought because he seemed to be right there, on me and in my head.  Continue reading