nudity and freedom

Nudity and freedom

Nudity and Freedom

I have mixed feelings about nudity. I can find being naked really liberating and sometimes I am totally on board with it, but my fragile body image and body dysmorphia can also make being naked an impossibility. My mixed feelings extend to taking pictures. I tend not to publish those which show nudity but we do still take them. If I see a picture where I look ok then it can be a really positive thing, but it can also go the other way. For me, nudity and freedom are linked.

Viewing the Negatives

We have had some instances where HL’s view of the way I look naked has led him to take a picture or a video which has caused an extreme reaction for me. We need to be careful as this can stop play and leave me feeling bad about myself for a few days. It is hard because it probably seems unpredictable to him. If he found the look of me repulsive then he wouldn’t take it or keep it or show me it. I know there is a big disparity in terms of how we both see me but we both accept that I can’t control these sorts of thoughts.

Picturing the Positives

We have also had lots of positive experiences, most of which have worked because HL has been able to push me deeper into my submissive heaspace so that the cognition which usually holds me back is gone. This becomes quite an addictive feeling. I can actually feel attractive and comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with my own nakedness. I know that when I was younger it didn’t affect me so much but there came a point where it was an issue and somehow, there has been no turning back from that.

My body and the way that I feel and see it affects that way that I feel and see myself, so nudity is a push. Recently we went away for a few days with friends. It was a D/s weekend so I knew that HL would want me as close to naked as I was prepared to go. I knew that there would be times when nudity might be possible but also others when it would be way beyond my reach. We compromised with me wearing very thin revealing cover-ups or lingerie for most of the time. However, there were also times when I was able to reveal much more and be comfortable with that.

Submissive Headspace

It was interesting that I was able to do things that I wouldn’t have expected because I was in the space where that becomes possible. For this reason I feel that at the heart of me, I can embrace nudity and the freedom that it brings for me. On the other hand, when I am shackled by the negative thoughts then it feels like an elusive thing which could just easily push me over the edge. My response is extreme and it seems to exist around polar opposites. There is very little compromise. I can either do it, or I can’t.

When I look back, I have been able to take naked pictures out of doors, play the piano, bake and prance around teasing, but these have all been done within the frame of a submissive act. Other times it will be a different story and the parts of me which are locked away by my thoughts are not allowed to roam free. I much prefer the first way and hope that I can be in that space more and more in the future. I like nudity and see it as a positive thing. I actually prefer to be naked than in clothes, but at points it just isn’t something I can do.

Nudity and Intimacy

I do feel that nudity is key to intimacy. I know that I am able to be naked around HL more than I ever have been with other people before. This has created an intimacy that then enables us to explore this further. I am not sure which came first but I am pretty sure that the two are connected for me. I suppose it is part of the same openness with thoughts and feelings which is part of our dynamic. Everything is shared and nothing is hidden.

Sleeping naked was something we did from the beginning. We we did it pre-D/s too because we saw it as being important. There was never anything which was really hidden or off limits and being able to be naked in front of the HL in this way did make me feel vulnerable but also helped to establish the deep connection that we have. He has never allowed me to hide myself and has always enjoyed watching me and been overt in doing that. This has helped to remind me of his acceptance of me which allows me to feel more comfortable with him.

Tell Me About
Monocrhomerotic

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Posted in Feeling Good, Sexuality, Tell Me About ..., Throwing Caution To The Window.

24 Comments

  1. That’s a great photo of you & I absolutely love it, but I know what you’re talking about when it comes to self doubts. It must be so strange for women – as a guy, I kind of don’t care that much, and yet, if I see a photo of myself naked, if I like it I’ll still think anyone else might find it abhorrent and pathetic or something!

    When I was an art student, we had a model who was a young (fish) woman of about 27 I guess, so I was quite happy to draw her, but she got negative vibes from someone in the room – we never figured out who it was, or if it was true, but I don’t think she was able to overcome it. One day she got upset and never came back, she only lasted a few months in the job. We had other models for whom it was like water off a ducks back, so I hope that first woman I talked about gained at least something from her experience. I never knew wether to approach her in a friendly way, or keep it more professional, I think perhaps the job just wants for her. One of the other ladies who used to pose, I saw her in Tescos, and she was still fine! Nothing sexual going on at all, but if there was, I’d have been all in! I thought she was spectacular, not my type as such, but I really admired her – she was kind of middle class and thoughtfully interested in what students wanted from her and trying to provide whatever we needed to get on.

    Anyhow, thats all very different too from revealing ones inner side, posing nude for art is a very skin deep thing, as a starting point at least, its not really jumping in being naked and vulnerable, that all comes in the mind. What a strange subject I often think! We had to old people pose for us after that other lady chucked it in, they were in their 70’s or 80s even! Totally not bothered about what anyone thought – nudists I suspect! 😀

    • I would love to feel that comfortable in my own skin but it would be hard for sure. I think being a model like that would be a challenge. I agree with you that there is more to be naked than just losing your clothes and that is an appealing prospect from either side I think 😊

      • When I saw that lady in Tescos, it was the first time I ever saw her fully clothed! And yet, there was never anything sexual between us. I think the art world is a bit mad like that, cos we all insist its all just anatomy, and it is in the art school, but we know very well thats not true!

        Yes, I think it takes a very academic approach – it can be useful in life – we are all beautiful – but come on! Lets have some imagination in art! Lets not go too far with the correctness! I suppose we have to be correct in drawing lessons, or else everyone might lose the plot! 😀 😀

        • It must have been an odd experience bumping into her and making the connection. And I know what you mean. The mind doesn’t really separate the two that fully 😊

  2. I do love the shadowing that comes from the glass over your body. My eyes draw to your hips and the way your legs cross I find mesmerising. Your nakedness has such beautiful feminine curves and it has been a pleasure to witness. I hope you continue to find comfort being naked, for you, for HL and for those, like me, that enjoy your erotic images.

    • Thank you PS. I enjoyed being a model and your input was helpful and appreciated. I think we had a great setting but I am pleased with the way that some of the pictures turned out. It comes under one of the positive experiences for sure lol 😊

  3. Missy that image of you is stunning, I absolutely adore it.

    I can relate to a lot of what you write, I have had similar experiences where PS has taken photos of me and was disheartened by my extreme negative reaction. It certainly puts a dampener on things but like you, I can’t control what will spike these thoughts.

    • It’s annoying isn’t it. Why can’t we just be cool with it. Unfortunately my submission doesn’t extend that far! 😊

  4. I get this Missy, and I am impressed how well you’ve put it into words. My relationship with nudity is patchy at best, and I have no body dysmorphia issues, it just feels OTT vulnerable to my – & both my parents were very relaxed about nudity so I am not sure when / how I got this way!

    • It is funny that we feel like this but also are willing to show pictures etc. I always imagine others are much easier about things than me but I don’t think that’s the case 😊

  5. It seems the older I get, the more comfortable I am in my skin, and the more I don’t mind walking around naked. I sleep naked wherever I can, but in winter I tend to wear a nightie, because my body cools off so much that I lie shaking even when I have an extra blanket covering me. The image is lovely, Missy, and the window definitely gives it a divine shine 🙂
    ~ Marie xox

  6. I can relate to a lot that you are saying here. I have had similar instances where my Master taking a picture triggered me, but the deeper I am in a submissive space, the more comfortable I feel with being naked. This is a very beautiful picture of you.

    • Thank you DS. Somehow it feels like he can make me beautiful through the D/s. Not sure if that makes sense or not lol 😊

  7. Thank you for being so honest and transparent Missy! This is a great post.

    For most of my life, I wasn’t comfortable with nudity. It came from a feeling of being inadequate, since many men are over six feet and athletes, yet I am an average sized musician! And so I assumed everything else was proportional, and with no big muscles, I just didn’t want to be seen. (Although a skinny dipping experience with a cousin was so exhilarating that I knew I wanted to like be naked.)

    The truth is, I don’t know what happened or how, but I would identify as a closet nudist now! (Closet, because like my D/s, it would cost me my job to be so publicly.) and with HQ being European, we have become very relaxed naked, even though we’ve eaten too many French fries and cheeseburgers!

    And yes, you’re right about the intimacy. We also sleep naked and I feel our extended naked times (weekend getaways) builds our intimacy alongside D/s. But I believe nudity also builds intimacy with others as well (of a different sort). Meaning, do you feel a special connection or greater intimacy as friends with the folks you were with in the recent weekend you described where you were naked or close to it?

    And by the way…what a great pic! I don’t know if compliments can help erase a bad body image, but all I can say, is the lady in the picture looks amazing! 😉

    • Thank you QH – you are very kind. The positive comments do help because they are power to what HL says about me too and help to challenge the negative voice in my head. Re the intimacy I think it does build a connection with others too. I did not know you were a musician either. How cool! 😊

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