She is me and very much me, but I am not always her. I don’t know if that makes sense or not but I hope that it does. Being missy is an important part of me and, really, she has always been there although I didn’t see her there before as I do now. It sort of messes with my head when I think about the different parts of me. It can feel sometimes like different people or personas who all live in one, but I suppose that they are just different sides which are brought about in response to different things.
I say that she is very much me because she is at the core. I cannot separate myself from her, although I can manage her thoughts and feeling and responses when I need to. I can push her down and I do. My life is such that I couldn’t be her all of the time. I would like to be in many ways, but I can’t. My life would chew her up and spit her out for breakfast so I have to keep her for when she can be and be safe. The rest of the time she is hidden behind my other faces, mother, teacher, daughter, friend etc.
I can only describe her as being more. She feels things more, she wants things more. She is more excited and more vulnerable. She has no boundaries and no limits. She will give you everything. I feel like she is smaller, younger, more innocent and yet naughtier. She is impulsive and corruptible. She holds the key to the energy and the passion, and although that is a common characteristic of all parts, it comes from her. In many ways she is the best bits and so she feels purer.
She is comfortable in her own skin and happy with who she is. She is not held back by the thinking parts which seek to alter and change. She is free in so many ways and not shackled down by what the world wants. But all of this makes her vulnerable. She would be like an exposed wound in an unsafe world if she didn’t have the protection she needs, so trust is paramount. Only in the presence of real trust can she be.
Other posts where I explain what my submission means are:
Submission and how it works for me
The faces of my submission
My submission, his submissive and other kick ass part that I don’t talk about