Content Notice: This post contains details of edge play including knife play, needle play, CNC and breath play.
What is edgy for one is not necessarily edgy for another and this post has come at a time when I am not feeling at my most edgy. So consider this a beginner’s introduction to my own personal experience with edge play. Nothing we have done to date has gone too deep. That does not mean that I wouldn’t want it to, but circumstances have taken us in a different direction so we have spent more time working on the middle than pushing at the edges.
I do expect we will go back there but for the meantime, we have been content to push a little at lots of different things, rather than really seeing how far we can go with one. I imagine that a lot of couples are like this. Not because I imagine that it is only couples who play like this, but because the nature of a long term full time dynamic means that there is much more to to it than the just the play. I suppose often it comes down to the practicalities and if you are not a frequenter of clubs or events (we have an online community because this is not an option for us) then it can change the focus.
I think it is for this reason that we have dabbled rather than immersed ourselves in some of the things that we would consider edge play. There are certainly things that we will revisit and there are others that we plan to try at some point in the future, probably when we have more time on our own. I also think it can be different in a married dynamic as the level of trust is different to what it would be if you were playing with a stranger. It means that you probably are more cautious in some areas because there are other aspects to your relationship, but might also mean that you are able to push further in others without it feeling as dangerous as it might do in a different situation.
We have experimented a little with knife play. The first time HL used it as a bit of a mind fuck but I was so trusting that I never assumed that he actually had a knife. I was pretty shocked afterwards when he confirmed it, but he probably didn’t get the edge that he sought in the moment. Since then we have used it again and I do like the slight fear that the thought of the risk creates. We have talked about cutting and I think that for me, that would definitely take things up a level. But while this is something that part of me really wants to try, there is another part that knows I would not want the sort of marks that it would leave, and so it would probably be more of a try for a thrill rather than more.
This post is about what happened when we tried knife play:
Playing it down
Needle play is an edge kink that we have tried a few times. We were lucky enough to be invited to watch sub bee and the Bee Keeper, experienced needle players, and this inspired and encouraged us that it was something we could try. I do enjoy needle play but for some reason we have done much less of it that we would have expected and I am not too sure why. I don’t think there is a reason really and I would like to be able to have a longer session than the ones so far. I think it was a big step for HL and he was quite cautious so to be able to do it long enough that we can both relax into is something which we definitely plan for the future.
I have not written about breath play before as a topic but I realise now that it is something that I should probably write about. There are lots of different ways to use breath play but what we have done is for HL to limit the air I have by putting his hands around my throat. I suppose it is strangulation but it feels really nice and very hot so I don’t tend to think of it that way. It can also make me dizzy as he keeps doing it for long enough for me to start to wonder if he will remember to let go in time. I think that is what I find hot about it. It is definitely about feeling vulnerable and losing control.
The same sort of thing can happen when we use the hood as it also restricts my breathing a bit and can add to the feelings and the sensory overload. Actual breath play is different though as it gives a sort of head rush and this works especially well if it happens when I am about to orgasm and he puts his hand over my mouth. I sort of hold my breath anyway so it works to add to that in terms of the loss of control and the inability to do anything more than make some muffled noises.
As I said, I haven’t written about breath play before but this post is about when we used the hood if that is of any interest:
The New Hood – A peek inside
The last type of edge play I wanted to include was consensual non consent. This is a tricky one as consent is pretty much always there for us but with this type of play we tend to push things further and I will fight back a bit. Sexually I do enjoy the thrill of the chase and I also like being over powered. We are not into rape fantasy and such so have tended to use this for rougher play or for role play. This an area where we have lots of ideas of things we would like to do which involve a bit of a chase, with a capture and some overpowering. We do talk about taking this outside which might be fun.
This post is about one of the times we did a CNC Roleplay:
We have also tried mummification. I don’t know if it counts as edge play but it felt quite exciting. Although you can use various sorts of material, we used cling film and HL cut little slits in it with a knife. Both parts of it felt thrilling. I was so vulnerable and unable to move at all and then I could feel what I thought would be a knife, but was actually scissors, cutting and slicing and then his fingers entering the gaps he had made in the tight casing.
This post is about the first time that we tried mummification:
Mummification Monday for missy
Being safe is important with any form of play but particularly with edge play where you are pushing or working right up at the edge of your boundaries. Communication is vital and so is thinking about Consent, Safety and Aftercare.
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