cock worship

Cock Worship

So number 7 in our advent calendar is cock worship. This seems timely as I read a post earlier by Purple Sole on the same topic. In his post, PS asks the question, what is the difference between a blow job and cock worship.  Now that is the post I was going to write so my heart sank a little when I saw it. However, having read it, I felt that there was still something for me to write. And that is how it works for me as a submissive.

I have made no secret of the fact that I am not an easy sub. While I want to submit, it is centred around my desire to be dominated and I want to be made to want it if that makes any sense at all. I don’t find being told what to do easy, even by HL. It grates on me still, even after all of these years of living a D/s lifestyle. When I am in a submissive headspace it is fine but my life dictates that much of it is conducted away from that space, so it really is a case of slipping in and slipping out.

What I need is for HL to bring that headspace about by using the various triggers that I have for it. Erotic humiliation is one: unfortunately service is not. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t like to serve him because I do, but it works better when I have instigated it. This is the issue with cock worship. The difference between that and a bloody good blow job, is the mindset I am in. I think PS touches on the differences as he sees them, but for me it is more about how I feel than it is about what I do.

I know how to please HL orally. I suck his cock most times we are intimate and though not every day currently, it isn’t far from that at times. He uses it other times too: to centre me, to soothe me, and hell, just because he wants it and he can. I like to make him happy and I like to make him feel good but for me, cock worship is another level altogether. It is more than giving a really good blow job and it isn’t something that can be demanded or requested, certainly not from me.

It goes beyond what I actually do: Licking and sucking and thrusting; Teasing and pleasing and swirling my tongue around him as I hold him there and then take him deep in my throat; Running my tongue up the length of him to pause at the head, and then using the suction to create a vacuum while I hold him still in my mouth before releasing so that he can fuck my mouth. All of that I can do on request because I want him to be happy and to feel good, and I want to please him to be be good at what I do.

Cock worship is another level. It is about me becoming lost in him and lost in his cock. It is about adoring that cock and adoring him in an almost divine way. I am not only full of adoration but consumed with a sense of supplication. I want to give myself completely in way which absorbs me and makes me part of him. I feel like I am nothing and that he is everything and that all that I am depends on what I am doing right there and then, for him and to him.

It feels that nothing else matters at all other than continuing to elicit those murmurs and those groans and to please him. I am so lost in him that I don’t think any more about what I am doing. There is no plan. Any sense of control is gone and I am taken over by the desire to be part of him. I lap at his balls and push my tongue into his arsehole, drinking in the musky scent and the salty taste. I feel like I am all over him and my desperation for him is apparent.

This is not something which can be requested although I would very much like if it was. It comes from deep within and although some submissives may be able to feel on command, for now, I am not one of them. This doesn’t always sit well with me. It makes me feel a bit second rate and as if I am failing at something that I should be able to do. But I can’t change the way I feel and the mindset I am in.

As we grow in this thing together we become more aware of each other and more aware of the triggers to get us where we want to be, so it isn’t that there isn’t a way, just that at the moment it isn’t born from instructions or requests. So for the moment I will confess that last night for number 7 it was a blow job and not cock worship that was the gift given. I am not sad about that and I hope HL isn’t either for I owe him one, and he knows it, and that will be something for us both to look forward to.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

To see the other posts in this series, please find more links on D/s Advent Calendar 2019  or click the button above to see who else is writing about advent for Wicked Wednesday.

Posted in D/s Advent Calendar 2019, Projects.

18 Comments

  1. Definitely a mindset difference between the two … filling a need, providing a service or giving with abandonment … it’s all in the nuances … :>) … nj … xx

  2. I feel a bit bad now, I didn’t want to steal your thunder. But your experiences are different to mine and you write much better than me so as always it is a joy to read.

    • That’s rubbish. And when I read yours I realized it wouldn’t be a problem. It was actually good as I could link to yours for a Dom’s perspective. ?

  3. It’s really interesting to read cock worship from your point of view as a sub and PS’s as a Dom. I can completely relate to it feeling differently mindset wise and didn’t realise that I actually did that much physically different whilst worshipping PS’s cock, which I apparently do. I certainly get lost in him and the desire to please.

      • No I can’t it’s just not the same. Tbh I’m not great at being told to just suck PS off either, unless we are submersed in play than my submission is better and I am needy but then it does turn more into cock worship I think. X

        • Phew. I am glad it’s not just me. I guess some people like to be told what to do but it sort of throws me out in some ways.

  4. I totally get you on this. When I saw PS’s post and the question about the difference between a blowjob and cock worship, my first reaction was to say that they are the same, but you are right, the difference definitely is the mindset you are in.

    Rebel xox

  5. IMO there is always something else to be said about cock worship and you have said it brilliantly – I agree there is a difference – just as there is a difference between the two of them and a face fuck. This is really a post I should write at some point as i seem to spend a lot of time with my mans cock in my mouth during our sexual activities xx

  6. For me, the topic is pussy worship instead of course, but I agree…mindset is everything. There is such a difference between oral for her and pussy worship. While I enjoy giving both, they are different experiences…for both of us. Where my headspace is determines where her headspace goes. ?

    • This comment has made me think about the fact that I never see anything written about pussy worship. Have I just missed it or is it bot a thing spoken of? x

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