V is for Vulnerable - Brene Brown Quotation

V is for Vulnerability – April’s Submissive Training Journal

V is for Vulnerability
I have been shocked by how vulnerable I have allowed myself to become these past weeks. I have opened myself up emotionally, physically and sexually and I have been astounded by how this has made me feel. We talked a lot about vulnerability in class today and the fact that actually, there is strength in being able to tell someone honestly how you feel. By making yourself vulnerable to them, you allow a deeper connection to form between you, and you also increase the level of trust and intimacy that you share.

We spoke about that fact that this works on both an emotional level for a long term relationship, but also as part of a scene for a play type dynamic. I can see that this is true. From the moment I arrived I have felt exposed. The parts of me which would usually not be seen, whether parts of my body or the thoughts in my mind, have been viewed sometimes in quite a public way. This has made me feel uneasy of course, but the fact that I have felt accepted and desired for these things, has made me feel freer than I would before.

Allowing myself to be more vulnerable and seeing vulnerability as a positive and a potential strength in a relationship, has meant that the conventions of society don’t hold me back in the way that they might usually. What that has done is to leave me feeling more free and more able to explore parts of me that I would usually keep hidden. I have felt scared and anxious by this, but to do it in an environment where I am safe has been the ideal way for me to give up control and power. I know it sounds like irony but being able to embrace my submissive side has actually made me feel a sense of freedom which wasn’t there before.

Part of the teaching today included looking at the work of Dr Brene Brown, a research professor who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She explains that rather than vulnerability being a weakness, it is actually our strongest connection to our humanity and to each other. That it is the birthplace of love, belonging, empathy, creativity, and authenticity which are the experiences that bring meaning to our lives. This makes so much sense and probably explains why I have been able to form such strong and deep connections with the people here. Not just those who I have engaged with during the practical sessions, but also the friendships I am making with the others here with me.

I am actually looking at this and applying it to some of the other relationships that I have. I think perhaps I have held back too much and that trying to be more open generally about who I am and what I want will allow me to form deeper connections with people I am close to. I am not saying that this will work for all relationships, and I will still need to have my guard up at times, but I want to make sure that I don’t unlearn the good that has come for me from being here.

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Posts which follow my own journey to becoming more vulnerable are VulnerabilityIntimacy and Vulnerability and Vulnerability and Connection.

To catch up on other posts in this series please see April’s Submissive Training Journal. Or read last year’s letter V post for the A to Z blogging challenge: Vulnerability, Voyeurism and Value

 

Posted in A to Z Challenge 2019.

15 Comments

  1. Pingback: V Vulnerability – cherishthelady

  2. April might be interested in Brene Brown’s new film The Call to Courage on Netflix if she’s time between her submissive studies 😉 softening into vulnerability instead of hardening into protection is where a lot of work lies for sure, great piece as always missy xx

  3. Vulnerability has definitely made a big difference in our life in the past few months … and so good that April has added resource recommendations. Unfortunately, I checked out kisungura’s suggested Netflix doc … I would have liked to have watched it, but unfortunately, it’s not available to Canadian Netflix viewers :>( … nj … xx

    • Vulnerability has been huge for us too nj. It is something that I can try to control when things are hard though as I slip into a very independent mindset and don’t give as much of myself, so it is constant work to keep myself in a place where I share readily and offer opportunities for HL to support me. ❤️

  4. I know vulnerability is an important thing to try and let happen but I not good at it at all – trust thing I think x

    • Yes I think it grows alongside the trust. It isn’t something I have found easy either and there are limits but I can see the advantages when in terms of the depth of connection when I have let it happen 😊

  5. Vulnerability is something we had little of before beginning D/s. This has built a whole new level of trust and emotional intimacy to our marriage.

    On top of that, vulnerability adds a whole new level of eroticism and intensity to play. I don’t think we can feel what April felt as it’s not public and The scenario is so different. Oh well…it’s still pretty great!

    My favorite line:
    “…being able to embrace my submissive side has actually made me feel a sense of freedom which wasn’t there before.”

    So true!!

    • Thanks QH. Vulnerability is definitely something which has increased for both of us and I think it has come about because of the levels of trust and the connection. 😊

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