I find that I dream less these days than I used to when I was younger. Or perhaps, I dream the same amount but it feels less vivid. I often wake knowing I have had a dream but the events seem hard to pinpoint, as if they are less real than they were. It becomes more of a feeling than an experience. However, at the same time I have been enjoying more waking dreams, the sort where you are caught up in the moment together and drift into a sort of dreamlike state, otherwise known as subspace. Currently, one of the easiest and quickest ways to reach this point, is by using the ElectraStim, hence the term electric dreams.
I wrote an account of our first experience with the ElectraStim on New Year’s Eve when we experienced the fireworks it could produce. Since then we have experimented with new methods, but also used it in the same sort of way as we did that night, as that seems to work best of the things we have tried so far. What I love, is that it enables HL to use it in conjunction with touching me, either with his fingers or with the wand, and I can be held on the precipice between pleasure and pain for a long time.
What can happen is a ripple or rolling orgasm, where it feels like it never ends. During this time I become quite incoherent, and I mean that in terms of my own thoughts as well as my ability to communicate. Nothing feels real, including time or my surroundings. My senses work and I can feel and experience things but this certainly happens through an altered state. I am drifting, either outside of myself or deeply within myself and all the time, the intensity of the sensations are making me feel as if I am on fire.
In these dreams, I am all pleasure. I exist on another plane and am free of the reasoning which pulls me towards reality, causing me to question and try to make sense and understand. There is no reason here, and no sense or understanding. What is, just is, and I welcome it with a quiet acceptance. I am energy, and yet I am not able to find the strength to move my heavy limbs. I feel so peaceful, and yet underneath I am sparking and flaming. I am a series of contrasting pictures and feelings, snapshots which are only loosely connected and sequenced.
In these dreams my mind doesn’t have to connect the dots, fill in the gaps, it just enjoys what it has and takes what it gets. I become a feather drifting on the wind, no control and no cares. And through it all I hear his voice and it grounds me. It pulls me to him, as the one real thing that matters. It is my guide and he steers me within myself. He bends and shapes me, creating a dream which we both are part of as I lose myself, falling deeper and deeper into him.
I think that this happens because the combination of sensations overloads my senses. It is so intense, so completely consuming that it pushes me out of myself and into him. The electricity gets higher and higher and more and more consuming. On its own, I would adjust to the prickle and the pulsing, pushing up and over it, but the pleasure he gives me keeps me distracted from that. Equally, despite the wand being turned up higher than I could usually bear, the feeling is tempered somewhat by the sparking from the electric pads and the involuntary tensing of my muscles.
What happens is a can’t go forward can’t go back sort of feeling where I rock gently between the two sensations, becoming less and less lucid. The real world becomes less real at the same time as I become lost in this new world of intense pleasure and intense pain. The way it occupies my mind means that I can’t think the way I usually would and this allows me to feel much freer to drift like I would in a dream. Like with a dream, I have no control over where these images and feelings take me, so it does feel very similar in a lot of ways.
Using the Electrastim is not the only way for me to get to this place, but it has been good for us in that often opportunities for longer scenes are limited, and frequently we have to be very quiet in terms of what we do. Both these factors limit our ability to reach this sort of dreamlike space easily, so this has been the ideal toy really. The way it works means that HL quickly takes control of my body and builds up the intensity as my tolerance changes. Either on their own would be screaming at me, but together they contradict and compliment each other, without dulling the response of my brain which continues to respond by throwing out endorphins.
So we find ourselves very quickly and very happily, together in electric dreams.
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