When I started blogging I really had no idea how it would work for me. The purpose of my blog was to be able to share my own experience and hopefully to connect with others. This happened in a much bigger way than I could have predicted but actually blogging has offered me much more than that. I had heard from other subs who used a journal as a place to reflect on their submission but that wasn’t something that I had ever done for longer than a few weeks. However, ultimately my blog has become a sort of journal.
Although for some, writing is just another thing they have to do (flashback to my days as an English teacher) for me it is a way to relax, a way to pause and take a break from everything else that goes on in my life. I have written a lot about how busy things are in my head and writing gives me a way to slow things down and to evaluate the things that are going on. Often I don’t know when I begin writing what I really want to say but somehow it allows me to process and to make sense of things.
Time to reflect has been crucial for me and I realise how dependent on it I have become. It forms not only a huge part of my submission as I process and work through a variety of aspects of our dynamic but it also allows me to reach realisations about myself, my motivations and my limitations. This has been very helpful and I honestly believe that without this time and this space I wouldn’t have come as far as I have.
With a busy life, time to stop and reflect is critical. Things can tend to rush from one thing to the next and to have a little space just to breathe and take stock is a key part of being able to relax and enjoy what I have. In all honesty sometimes my reflection will lead to mulling over things to try to make changes or improvements, but a lot of it leads to celebrating what I have and the realisation of how lucky I am. It is essential to me to have this time to be reminded of this and in explaining to others, I am making it a focus for myself too.
What has been a great advantage of this time to pause, to think, to reflect has been the fact that communication becomes easier. I have time to consider what I want to say, as writing tends to take the heat out of things for me. I choose my words much more carefully when writing than I do when I speak in the spur of the moment and being in a relationship where you both blog and both read the other’s blog also means that it helps to put us one step ahead.
I have written in more detail about writing and journalling in a previous post but what I hadn’t considered before was the space that it gave me to stop and take a slice of time for myself. While I am not always good at prioritising self-care in the traditional way, I am motivated to write regularly on my blog, so it feels a little bit different. I had seen it as a hobby and knew its importance to me, but hadn’t looked at it as being part of time for me which I really desperately need. It has value to me as an activity and it is also something that has value to HL so he is understanding about the time that it takes.
For anyone who is reading and thinking about blogging, I would encourage you to give it a go. It has become a big part of growing in my submission and also in allowing me to maintain a focussed mindset. I have met some great people and made some really good friends and it was honestly the first place that I felt included in all of my weirdness, kinks and otherwise.