"We loved with a love that was more than love."

Love
I struggle to explain how I feel about our relationship – about what we have. It is love for sure but also it is also ‘more’ than love and sometimes that overwhelms me. It is not something that I ever thought I would get and I think that is part of my confusion. If you had told me that this sort of relationship existed I would have thought it unlikely. If you had told me that I would be constantly surprised, constantly challenged and constantly overcome by the enormity of what passes between us, I would have doubted you for sure.
Those things didn’t exist for people like me – over-thinkers who had unrealistic desires. I had always wanted the more whilst realistically expecting the less. For that was life. I wasn’t someone who could make something small appear big, I just enjoyed the small that I had and put the big out of my head. I knew that there were people who swore that they had what I dreamed of, but I looked at them closely and saw that they didn’t; they just wanted different things to me and the rest was down to semantics. Life is always relative after all.
So finding a love which was more that love was huge for me. It was intoxicating from the beginning. It was like a drug that I was immediately hooked on. I couldn’t say no and I couldn’t give it up. It had a physical effect on me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The lust, the passion, the craving that I had for him and for what he made me feel. All along it has felt that I found what I always wanted – someone who wanted as much as I did and who didn’t find me too much. He gave me the more that I had sought. He gave me the intensity and I didn’t have to dilute myself anymore.
Even after 10 years together, it still feels intense to me. There are times that I want to climb inside of him. To literally disappear. There are moments when I feel that we become one and others when we move together simultaneously, side by side. We feel aligned and I feel like he wants me on a level I can give. I don’t have to hold back anymore. He allows me to be free to let go. He sees what is at the centre, he sees what I really am, and he loves me.
For me that is more than love. It is unconditional and it is unwavering. It is trust and it is belief. It is organic and it moves and changes with us and for us. It encompasses what we become as individuals and as a couple and it steers us forward together. It is strong and roots us firmly. It makes us more certain and it makes us braver. It gives us an energy and a force which surprises us sometimes. And caught up in it, we grow together with a love that is more than love.

Prompt #326: Love

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Posted in Submissive Musings.

21 Comments

  1. Amen to this…. I could have totally written this post, in fact mine is not hugely dissimilar and like you I never thought I would find a love like this
    Mollyx

  2. So well said missy! We’ve been trying to put words on “love that’s more than love” and for us we see it as intimacy. But at a level we never thought possible. A level we had never achieved in 20 years together. This dynamic of our relationship has caused us to embrace each other for things that would have been “judged” before reaching this intimacy. It’s indescribable being with someone who knows the depths of your soul and embraces you for it. Thanks for writing!

    • I understand completely where you are coming from. The level of intimacy and the intensity are definitely the things that I would say define the difference between our relationship as D/s and what it was before. So glad that you are getting so much out of your relationship too 😊

  3. That feeling of wanting to climb inside….so delicious and breathtaking! Thanks for putting this out, it’s good to know I’m not alone x

  4. This is beautiful and describes the love I have for my husband. Yes, we have and had our speed bumps, and if it wasn’t for our love being so strong, those bumps might have stopped us. Like you, I never thought a love like this would be mine, but 16 years ago, it came my way 🙂
    Rebel xox

    • Thank you. I know what you mean about the speed bumps and we have had those too but, like you, I think it is the strength of the love that has got us through 🙂 Yay for second chances

  5. I think I have that. Sometimes. It’s so hard. I know I have it or had it… but then one day, it changed. I finally believed that I was worth loving and that I was everything he thought I was. And… it’s broken us. Because I’m different now. My whole identity was built on the idea that I was never worth anything, everyone was delusional. But he’s still here with me, while I try to pick up the pieces of who I think im am, what I think I’m worth. He hasn’t left me even though I’m broken. Because he thinks I’m worth waiting for. I hope I’m worth it. I’m scared I’m just wasting his time…

    • I really hope that you can work through it together. The D/s has really helped me with how I see myself and also with accepting who I am 😊 hugs xx

      • It’s actually through D/s where I realised I was worth loving. I just wanted to see myself the way he sees me, and I wanted to love myself the way he loves me, and I wanted to believe him that I really was all that. And *boom* after some time mind blowing sex, bdsm time, it finally hits home that it was and is all true. And he’s still here, by my side, even though I’m a crazy bitch. He still hasn’t left. And I love him. But we’ve had to decrease the sexy time… because of life and crap. Part time kink is where we need to be, but he sees it as “all or nothing” lol. If that makes sense.

        • Yes it does. We have to make sure that we have time for communication so that the emotional connection is there through that as there is not always the time to go as far into the physical as we want to. As you say, life does get in the way.

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