Well I asked for fire and heat and for some reason that is what I got. If only all good thoughts translated to wishes with such speed and such ease! Being honest I am not sure if it was the thinking that changed something within me, the fact that we have spent much more time around either other the past week, or the fact that my Fitbit boldly announces that I have’ 2 days left in my fertile window’, whatever the cause, I am once more consumed with a deep and insatiable need for HisLordship.
Sometimes I think that we need to be psychologically open to things and that when you are relaxed that is more likely to be the case. Definitely when the protection I place around myself falls away, I am far more receptive and more open. It is odd that this mental shift also brings about a physical one but I am pretty convinced that is the case. My skin becomes more sensitive to his touch, my body follows him more easily and my mind becomes his more quickly.
Such was last night. I fell apart for him with a speed that surprised me and left me no time to think. His voice filled my head and he exposed the person at my core with an ease that made him spark right back at me. We were both drawn into the action response cycle where one thing triggers another and on it goes as you slowly move further and further into one another. I wanted him and needed him, all of him, with all of me.
To lose yourself into another person is a powerful feeling and it leaves you looking for more, not wanting to be without that connection. I feel that keenly today. I twitch at the thought of us, immediately cast back in my mind to that place. It surrounds me and keeps me in the moment, defining other things by its existence. Yes, I wanted the fire and the heat, and now I am home.