A to Z Challenge – Y
Y is for YES as this is something I should be saying a lot. Yes, Sir to be more precise. I think being compliant is something that I have got much better at and I have also stopped asking all the questions which used to throw Hislordship off. I never said No you see, but I let him know that I didn’t really want to be doing whatever it was that he had asked. So he would back down and I would get my own way. Eeek. I look back and am not proud of the way that I was. Saying yes has made much more sense for us. We still talk things through but there is an expectation there that I will carry out his requests without argument. When we are in our higher protocol Collar Time the expectation on me to carry out his instruction without hesitation will be even greater. This seems to work well for us and we have managed to retain ourselves, whilst also being able to explore the roles of sub and Dom.
Part of this is about being his and so my second Y is for YOURS. The posts A Need for submission and A Need for Domination really explain much more about this. I need both in order for it really to work. I have said before that it is like a circle where one feeds the other and that there needs to be balance, not necessarily equity, between the two for them to work. Essentially for me it is about feeling that I belong to him. I am owned and loved by him which is a hard thing to explain to those who are not in a similar sort of lifestyle. Essentially we are Better Together.
My last Y is for YELLOW which is one of the words we used when we started out to help us to gauge where we were at with things. Where our safeword was red, yellow was used to sort of slow things down a bit or indicate that we needed to stop and talk through what was happening. We also used a number scale at the start to rate the level of pain and the level of pleasure that I was experiencing. This helped HL to get a much clearer idea of what my limits were and how things worked for me. As it is now, we rarely use these words as he can read me pretty well, but they have been helpful in the past so they are something that we keep there anyway.
I hope that you haven’t yawned through my letter Y. Check on Monday for the letter Z and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge.