A to Z Challenge – S
An obvious for S would have to be SUBMISSION but that would mean linking my entire blog really. I have chosen the post The faces of my submission as I think that I have always been aware that there were many different sides to the way I am as a submissive. I have spent time wrestling with the fact that my vanilla counterpart has to be so different to my submissive side (see Two Faced) but this has actually got easier as time has gone on and I have got better at resolving the two. I think that what submission has done is to provide a safe environment within which I can explore the other parts of me which we there all along, and as personal development goes, that is a pretty huge deal for me.
My second S is SPANKING: something which I love. We tend to use erotic spanking for the most part and I have written about the part it plays in our dynamic in the post Spanking Uncovered. In Oh That Sweet Sweet Spot I explain what it is that I like about physical side of spanking. We are not able to use spanking for a connection as much as we would like due to the fact that it is quite loud and we have kids around most of the time so it tends to be a bit of a go-to whenever we get the change to be alone. We started to use the cane as a more every day replacement for spanking just because we could achieve a similar effect through the therapeutic tapping technique that Sir applies, without the same noise of his hand on my skin.
My last letter S is SAFETY. The whole thing about D/s is that it makes me feel safe. I think that is because I equate control with safety. This seems the wrong way round as in submitting I am giving up control. But I am not really – in reality I am giving control to someone else. Someone who loves me and values me and respects me much more than I do myself. So the control is still there, it is just not me who is wielding it. At any rate, when there is a lot of control in my life I feel safe. If I am the person in putting it into practice I can feel quite overwhelmed but when Sir is doing it I feel calm and freer to explore things. I have written about what it means to feel Safe here. Obviously I should mention the need to play safe too and I have already posted a link previously to Consent, Safety and Aftercare.
I hope that my letter S has been super. Check on Monday for the letter T and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge.