A little reading goes a long way

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Last night we had set some time aside for each other as we had missed out for one reason or another. I guess that we both must have needed it because despite the stuff of life working to derail us with its usual tricks, we managed to get back to it and turn up the heat despite it all. I guess that perhaps HisLordship had taken some of my previous posts as food for thought because he seemed to be right there, on me and in my head.  Continue reading


Are we still kinky?


This follows on from my post, Kinky, and actually ties in to my recent post, Ahhhhhh!. I said in my kinky post that sometimes I felt that I wasn’t really kinky anymore and that I wasn’t sure how important that part was to me. Although I wrote that post back in November of last year, it had actually sat unpublished as I never felt that it was finished and I wasn’t really happy with it. Today I went back to it in order to see if I could finish it off and I realised that I couldn’t because actually I have moved on from my thinking quite a bit since then. So I hit publish and, for once it back-dated when I wanted it to.  Continue reading

Holding Space — | The SafeworD/s Club

This post was written by kisungura and is on the blog at The SafeworD/s Club but I wanted to post it here too as I thought it touched on issues which might be relevant to others.

There are times when I need to be broken by him, taken apart and ripped wide open. There are times when he needs to break me, take me apart and rip me open. The deepest and deliciously darkest of these times are those where our dual needs smash into each other, meeting each other on…

via Holding Space — | The SafeworD/s Club



I feel like I have had one of those great light-bulb moments of enlightenment about my submission, HisLordships’s Dominance and how that works within our D/s relationship. How has this come about three years down the road? Like most things really. By chance, by being open to new things, by looking and listening, and by having the desire always to be learning. This desire to learn comes particularly for me in terms of my D/s as that is important to me. I also have a desire to learn about people, about how minds work and about how you can shift your thinking in order to change your own reality. These are things that interest me of course and I have less desire to learn about things which don’t – how to use SEO for example – although where there is a need, purpose or gain there is a motivation. Continue reading

Three Years of submission

three heartsI mentioned in my last post the reasons why we decided to begin a D/s relationship which made me reflect. Reading back over my post Two Years of submission where I wrote about where we had come in the first two years made me think about this third year. Because the changes in a relationship and in yourself happen gradually, you are not always aware of how significant they are, but when I look at where I stand now, I can see that things have changed quite considerably this year, for me and for HisLordship and for us. Continue reading

Exposed Photos?


I am not sure whether it is a threat or a promise, but HisLordship has said more than once that he plans to take some (hopefully semi) naked photographs of me outside. For one reason or another this has not happened yet, and I suppose that by writing this I am actually reminding him of it when that was not my intention. I am unsure as to whether or not that is a wise thing to do; I want to please him of course but I do have some quite strong reservations about it. I have expressed these to him in the past and whether it is that, or that lack of opportunity, or the onset of the colder weather that has stopped him carrying through, I do not know.  Continue reading

Sonnet xvii

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

This poem has always summed up how I feel about what HisLordship and I share.  I try so hard to express what it is but there are so many facets to how I feel that it is impossible to really capture it as this poem does for me.  It was one of the readings at our wedding ceremony and when I told my sister that we had chosen it and she was concerned that it was a bit suggestive.  She said that the reference to loving in secret seemed wrong and that we should be out in the open.  For me, I feel that you can only truly love or be loved if you have acknowledged that darkness and embraced it. I think she would have been happier if I had seen our love as the salt rose or the topaz, but the dark thing living in between the shadow and the soul was not up her street. Never mind, one man’s pain is another man’s pleasure and all of that.
Continue reading