New TermNew Rules

They are not really new rules, but with the start of the new term and my return to work, I was worried that I needed to have more structure in order to help with the change that it was going to bring. The holidays have been wonderful as HisLordship and I have been able to spend so much time relaxing together, but a lot of the rules and rituals that we had in place have been relaxed as they were not really required in the same way. Even the times that we set aside to talk, evaluate and review our D/s have not had to fit into the same routine as during the term time, because there has been so much more opportunity to talk at other times in the day. 

I know from experience, that going back to work has an impact on me. I adjust to it, of course, but it means a much more hectic week which requires quite a tight structure in order to make it work effectively. I also get emotional, partly from tiredness but partly from moving from being full-time submissive, back into a work role where I have a lot of responsibility and have to take charge and make a lot of decisions. I feel a bit lost during this time and I get a bit of a drop.  I am at that point now; Monday I was buzzing a bit with the reconnect with that other part of my life, Tuesday I was feeling a bit shell-shocked by the reality of adjusting to the number of demands placed upon me, and today I am feeling tired and a bit emotional. I am missing the contact with Sir so it is not only our routine which requires a tight structure, but also me who does.

It is much easier when you know what to expect as you can put things in place to try to manage it. So we talked about it on Sunday and HisLordship decided that we would bring back some of the old things that we did that had sort of fallen by the wayside. We have a number of rules that are in place all of the time, but we also have additional ones when we want to focus on something in particular. As this was really about me managing, most of these were designed to help me to feel better about myself. The rules for the new term are as follows:

  • My original bedtime of 10.30 has been reinstated, with the addition of being off the computer by 10pm. (The SWC chats have meant some later nights the past while, as I can become easily caught up in a good conversation.
  • I am back to drinking water during the day and my empty bottle must be presented on arriving home. I am also to stick to the food rules that we have set.
  • I must exercise 5 times a week and also walk to and from work.
  • Our previous coming-home routine will be reinstated – I make a coffee for Sir, we chat about the day, and then he tells me to go and get changed and gives me instructions about what I am to do next. During our conversation we will discuss the tasks that we both had on our to-do list and will update the list with any new tasks.
  • Will will also re-establish our Wednesday talk time followed by the caning session as that is something that works well for us as a mid point connect through the week.

So far these things have really helped me. I don’t feel out of control and overwhelmed in the same way that I have done sometimes in the past. I have worked late all three days so far and yesterday I had to ask permission to work past the deadline time that we had agreed, but I have been able to switch off and get back into the right mindset when I came in. I feel tired but I know that by next week I will be used to it again so I feel ok about that. It is great the way that our communication allows us to address and manage problems and issues when they occur, but also means that we can use our experience to anticipate where things might be tough and prevent that from happening in the future.

Being honest and open about my thoughts and feelings has meant that we have reflected and talked about things that would have been left before. This is not because we wouldn’t have dealt with them but because we weren’t aware of them in the same way. We notice my behaviour and if I am off or out of line then we look at why. There is no tiptoeing around or making allowances, I am fully accountable. I think that sometimes people can see this as being about the punishment or the repercussions for such behaviour, but for me that is not nearly as important as the discussion we have about it as that is where we learn about each other, and that is where we can use what we have learnt in order to make changes and improvements.

I am hoping to have some kinkier things to post about soon as we also talked about some things that we would like to add in that department too. A change in routine is always a good time to shake things up a bit and try out something new so that is usually what we try to do. Often when we look back we have had good ideas in the past that may not always have been explored fully so that is another area where we look at what to bring back, a bit like we have done with the rules above. So all in all I am feeling tired but positive and thankful for the amazing, varied and exciting life that I have.