I have thought on and off about the marks and bruises which have been acquired in the process of having kinky fun as part of our D/s. Usually I would not welcome a bruise as I find it unsightly, and most of the shades it turns to do nothing for my complexion. The yellow is probably worst as it always makes my skin look dirty or grubby. But D/s bruises and marks are a little but different for me, and I assume for others. I see pictures on social media, and particularly fetlife, where submissives are proudly showing these marks almost as badges of submission, and sometimes one can almost feel that it must not have been a great night if there is nothing to show for it in the days to come, so what is it that brings the appeal?
There is something quite primal about marking someone as your own, and although history has not left the general public with a positive view of its use, within the BDSM community this is not quite the same. There are many who seek, not only to wear the temporary marks of their exchange, but also those who go further into tattooing, piercing or branding in order to have a visual and symbolic reminder of their commitment and connection with each other. I suppose that things like collaring are also forms of this, and when challenged by someone vanilla who tells me openly that it is degrading and wrong to be seen as being someone else’s possession, I argue that it is not so different from a marriage certificate and a wedding band. But who am I kidding? I have both of those and I still want the collar and the marks.
Tattoos and piercings are things that we have talked about, but not in a serious, lets-get-one-done-this-Tuesday kind of a way. I don’t doubt my commitment to HisLordship, but to commit to one piece of text or one image is not quite the same thing for me. I change my mind about what I like, so it would be quite a step. I also wonder about how it would look – I have grown quite used to milky white skin and I am not sure about a patch of colour on there permanently. I like tattoos for the story they tell, but I like the look of nice skin better. I suppose at the end of the day, those are my reasons why I have not chosen to have a tattoo or piercing, so it would not be the same if it was something that HisLordship really felt he wanted me to do and I would have to look at it in a different way.
Bruises and marks are a little different, however. Initially Sir tried to be careful not to cause them as he was worried about hurting me. Well that lasted for at least a couple of scenes and then he seemed to get a taste for it. The pinker he could make my cheeks the better and the more stripes he could fashion with his cane then the more he seemed to enjoy himself. He went out of his way to suck and bite so that he left marks on my skin in those hidden places that only he could see and he would linger in bed and comment on his handiwork as I crossed the room. And I suppose that I began to like it. Instead of the ugliness of the fading green bruise or the purple welt, I saw reminders of him and what had passed between us. I would forget they were there and then get a little thrill in the bathroom at work when I came across them again.
I think that I began to develop a sense of pride too in the way that he responded to them. I began to feel that he had left something of himself on me and that he had taken the time to mark my body as his. I love the look of those marks now as much as I love the sting that is left after we have played. I revel in the memory that the sight or the feel of it brings back. I am not at the point that I would want to share that with anyone else as I feel that it is personal and I would not want anyone else to judge and to spoil what it means to me. I had considered using a photo of my rather bruised behind, following our foray with The Howler the other week, and it is for that reason that I decided against it.
The mark that time was quite unusual in that it looked as though it had been designed to be kept private. When I stood normally it was not visible at all but in a more vulnerable position, it blossomed into full view. When HisLordship caught site of it the following morning, it seemed to have quite an impact on him. He immediately became hard, grabbed me and took what is his all over again. It was not until then that I had realised how much marking me a bit actually arouses him so, in turn, that has given it an added sense of meaning for me. We are currently not interested in permanent marks so anything that comes is purely the result of the fun that we have had. We do not go out of our way to create reminders, but if they occur, then we do get off on it a bit, so who knows what the future will bring?