I wrote in Spanking Uncovered that sometimes we used spanking for a re-set. By a re-set I mean that we will use it to re-set the dynamic when things have slipped sometimes. This can happen for a variety of reasons from one of us coming out of the correct mindset, to things taking a bit of a back seat due to health, to having to deal with something challenging outwith our relationship. Sometimes the spank just reaffirms the roles that we have both agreed to take by demonstrating the power exchange and sometimes it can be more of a form of maintenance of it. Spanking is certainly not the only thing that we would use for this, but it is a bit of a go to strategy as it is pretty quick and effective for us.
Yesterday, for some reason, I was not quite myself. I am not sure why but it was one of those days were I just felt a little less comfortable in my own skin, and I suppose that showed a bit. I don’t think there was anything in particular and it was only when HisLordship asked me if I was ok, I realised that I was, but only just. It would be good if I’d had a reason to share with him; maybe I was tired, maybe I was hormonal or maybe I was just a bit lethargic, but there was nothing more than that and nothing that was on my mind and needed to be talked about. He said that as we had the house to ourselves we were going to play for a bit. Now this is where I know that something was not quite right as I didn’t immediately want to jump to it.
I got myself upstairs and into position but my head was not quiet right. I wondered if it might be the fact that we need to maximise every opportunity with time alone which makes it feel a bit less spontaneous than it should. However, as a submissive mine is not to reason why, simply to do, so I tried to get a bit more with it. In the interests of open communication I thought that I should share the fact that I was not in quite the right head-space on this particular occasion, although I did assure Sir that I wanted to spend time with him. His, “well it is a good thing that it is my job to get you in the right head-space then, isn’t it?” was just what I needed to hear and I started to relax.
He told me to get over his knee and the spanking began. I don’t know how long we were doing that but I was aware that the blows were falling heavier. Following my post about The Howler he then said that he thought we should give it another go as I had enjoyed it so much, so by the end my poor cheeks were more than a little pink. Afterwards, as he held me, he asked if I was feeling better and I said that I was. He told me that he thought that I was also feeling calmer which I also agreed that I was. For the rest of the day, I felt much happier in myself, which was good as I ended up having to deal with some emotional issues with one of the children.
Somehow in that one little exchange, not only had my mindset been shifted, but my whole demeanour had changed. It wasn’t just that was I feeling stronger, I was also more resourceful, happier, calmer and generally more fun for him to be around. This is the value to us of a reset spanking. On this occasion it was used to reset my mood as he could tell that something was up and had it continued, it would have begun to make things more strained between us. However, if that had happened and things had moved to the next stage, the same reset could have been used to put things back onto an even keel.
It is hard always to see what is there in front of you, so having someone else who can do that and deal with it quickly is such a relief. In the past I used to spiral a little out of control when I got emotional about something, and with each spin I became a little more distant and a little less approachable. I think that it made confronting and dealing with me all that much harder and so this way works so much better for us. We are lucky that Sir tends to be naturally good humoured and pretty even tempered; it takes a lot to get to him, but he will feed off negative emotion so it is good that we are able to sort things in a quick and effective way.