Sometimes in life there are lovely moments that make you think. I tend not to write too much about many of these for fear of ‘outing’ myself; rather I keep my personal details so very personal that I can still be missy and not the other me. I am going to make an exception for the ‘whisperphone’ as I think that it represents something that I feel strongly about, and that is perception. Trying to work with people to shift their perception is a big part of what I do for a living and trying to keep my own perception of events the way I want them to be is also something I strive to do, so it is a topic that is significant to me.
So this morning I went to visit one of the primary schools that feeds to us. We do this as part of our transition programme and we take a couple of junior pupils back to their old school to answer questions and reassure the somewhat nervous new recruits. Unfortunately they were very quiet so having answered all the questions fully, I left these youngsters together in the hope that they would ask the things they really wanted to know. I ventured next door and was lucky enough to be invited to listen to a small boy do his reading to ‘Miss’ rather than on his ‘whisperphone’. Keen to hear him read, I was also interested in the mysterious whisperphone. Was this a new piece of technology I had missed? Was it the latest piece of equipment for the 21st century classroom?
On closer inspection I discovered that it was a small piece of plastic tubing (HisLordship informs me the technical name is a 22 millimetre push-fit poly elbow!) The idea was to hold one end to your mouth and the other tend to your ear and then you can read out loud and hear the words without distracting the rest of the class. How cool. And it worked because I tried it while I read ‘The Day that Digger went to School.’ It meant that some pupils could sit and read out loud, but really it was only in a whisper, and the others could be involved in other activities. Both groups were able to concentrate on their own task and it did look like a cartoon telephone too which was also pretty smart.
It made me think how so much of life is in our perception and that really things always have the potential to be so much more than you first think. We become so tuned in to what others have and what is current that we forget the simple things that can be used in other more inventive ways. And I sometimes think that is what we are doing with the way we use the power exchange in our marriage. We are not really changing anything or getting rid of anything. We are not even really adding anything new. We are just choosing to see things in a certain way and respond to them in a way that enhances our own experience. We are taking what was already there and tapping into it so that it can reach its potential.
D/s is really about going back to basics. At the heart have to be the core foundations that are important to any relationship and layered on top of them are the actions and reactions which reinforce them so that they can grow and develop. The whisperphone could be marketed as a great new invention or an in-vogue educational tool to help practice reading in school, but actually it is what it is; a piece of tubing being used for another purpose. It is available, affordable and under your nose all the time so really it is just about seeing what is there for you and capturing the potential in it. And that is what I feel we are doing here with our relationship. We are taking what we had before and we are building on in and enhancing it. It isn’t about the cuffs and the vibes and the impact toys, it is about two people being respectful and open with one another and trying their best to keep the needs of the other at the fore.