I think I have said before that a D/s marriage is not all bells and whistles. The physical part of the relationship is amazing of course but much of the time you are a regular couple doing regular couple things. That is why I have always stressed that the emotional connection you have to each other is really important and has to be fed and nurtured in the same way that they physical side does if you want to get the most from each other and from your relationship. I think that it has taken me a long time to be ok with the fact that sometimes things are quieter and a bit less action packed, and to feel comfortable with the reality that we are just ticking along nicely thank you very much. Continue reading
In a moment of epiphany I have realised that my new lifestyle has made me more happy and less snappy. And I have to say that feels good. I would be kidding you, and myself, if I said that I never snapped at all anymore but I have come to the conclusion that I am much more self aware and much more self controlled than I was before, and than some of the other people who I spend time with are. I am not sure why this came as a surprise but I guess that sometimes it takes an external influence to put your own life and behaviour into perspective. Continue reading
I used to think that I had a high pain threshold but since starting this journey and talking to some masochists I am less clear about that. I think that I have a good level but when you play in the safety of your own home, without an audience, you really don’t have much to compare it with. I know that I like the ache of his nipple clamps. I know that I enjoy the sting of his hand, the slap of his crop and the thud of his paddle. I also know that I melt at the pull of my hair and the fire of his cane and that sometimes I burn to feel pleasure in the way that only the edge of pain can bring me. However, I do think that although sometimes I feel that I need the pain, it brings the pleasure to me, rather than being pleasure on its own.
Sometimes I want to be nothing. It is a curious feeling and is part of a fantasy which I sometimes have. It has only come along in the last few years, since the D/s and the power play has become much more of a formalised thing for us. During a scene or play, I can acquire that feeling where I seem to leave myself and float on another plane, a bit like something that was nothing would. But this is a bit different to that. I want to be aware of being nothing, because it has happened as a conscious process, rather than it happening as part of what occurs naturally. I want the knowledge that I have been slowly reduced and stripped back until I am no longer part of myself, if that makes sense. Continue reading
Sir has been away from home since Monday and won’t return until tomorrow. The time without him has highlighted how much both me, and our lifestyle have changed since we became D/s. Unlike previous trips, this time he left in a hurry so there was no time to prepare, and I was caught a bit off guard. It has made me aware just how much I have come to rely on him both emotionally and physically. Now he was always a very loving and supportive partner and even before we dated, we were friends, and I knew that he was only ever a call away if I needed something, but this is different. This is about the everyday, maintenance and support that comes with being deeply connected to another person. Continue reading
I sort of feel it may be more appropriate to ask when real life doesn’t interfere with our D/s! I think from the very beginning, well at least after the first week, things started to get in the way of what we wanted to do and where we wanted to take this. But with full-time work, a large family, friends and other commitments, to expect time to immerse ourselves in this new-found dynamic was always a little ambitious. In fact, it was partly because life kept getting in the way that we made the move early on to commit to, (for want of a better term), a 24/ D/s lifestyle . Continue reading
This is a post for a number of reasons. It is partly a follow on from my last post on Consent and D/s which became too long to add anything else. It is also partly in response to last weekend when we were away together and HisLordship requested the presence of the birthday Elf. And finally, I received another prompt during the week as part of the Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s and it asked about consent and consensual non-consent. Whatever the stimulus, one way or another I have had a week where I was not able to read anything never mind write anything, so it has taken a long time in coming. Continue reading