Kinkless Sex

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Sometimes it seems that there is a lot of focus in D/s relationships on kinky sex. Personally, Sir and I love being kinky and exploring that previously denied part of ourselves. But not all sex has to be kinky, and I think that when you enjoy a frequent and regular physical connection, it is not possible to keep things on the edge all of the time. There are some things that we would always want to include in our exchanges and I think that both of us struggle now to really get much from it when things are completely vanilla but as long as there is a twist of Domination and submission there, then we end up feeling pretty satisfied. Continue reading

Opinions

0fff2ea7bd59ad7fa1c8c48e38a0c423.330x415x1One of the things that I like about being online and having a presence here on WordPress and twitter is that I am exposed to lots of different views, opinions and ideas about relationships and dynamics which have things in common to mine. I think that this is a positive thing for me as it allows me to think more deeply about some of the aspects of how others make things work and this can have an impact on my own ideas. This is what growth is all about and by sharing and listening to others, I am able to learn. It has been refreshing to find other people who share some of the same struggles and some of the same highs.  I think that it is human nature to seek others who feel the same way about things, particularly when you are involved in something that some may not accept openly. Continue reading

School Uniform

So to celebrate comic relief day tomorrow, pupils are asked to dress in red. And teachers are asked to dress in school uniform!  I was the only one of the teaching staff who seemed to be finding this slightly amusing and slightly inappropriate but I guess that is just my not so guilty conscience. The main concern in the staff room seemed to be either the lack of a plain white blouse, or finding a pupil to rent from (money goes to charity of course) who’s blazer would fit and have been freshly laundered. Clearly my issue is more whether or not my usual pigtails and knee high socks are a step too far!  Should make for an interesting day!

The Gift of Giving

Tomorrow I am attending an event where I will be speaking about the value of developing philanthropy in young people.  In thinking about what I might say, I obviously had to consider the rewards of giving, and as I am wont to do, I ended up relating this to a relationship focussed on Dominance and submission.  All relationships are about give and take, but in a D/s relationship there is a really strong emphasis on the give, rather than on the take. Because it is based on A Power Exchange, each one person is thinking about the needs of each other and the emphasis becomes very much about what you can give your partner to make their life easier or more pleasurable or more exciting or more of whatever it is you think will make them happy. Continue reading

Sensory Scene

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I am pretty excited as I had not expected a scene today but Sir told me an hour ago that he wanted me to be ready. Having prepared myself, I enter the room.  He holds me for a while and tells me that he loves me and that he is going to abuse me a little. He turns me around to face the full length mirrored wardrobe doors and strokes me. I am looking at his face but he tells me to look at my body while he touches me and tells me how much he likes it. He tells me how hard I make him and already I am leaving myself behind and relaxing into just being his. He has set up the play bench and he instructs me to sit down on it and then he places a blindfold across my eyes. He tells me to lie down on my back and he lifts my legs up and bends them at the knee and opens them so that I am exposed to him. Next he reminds me of my safe-words, places a set of headphones on my ears and soon all that I hear is the sound of Morcheeba.  Continue reading

Wednesday Canesday

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When HisLordship first introduced regular caning on a Wednesday, I’ll admit that I wondered why.  I am not sure why I had this reaction as I like it when he canes me but I think that I worried it might feel different if it was a regular scheduled thing and not part of our play.  Sir had told me that he planned to have a regular discussion session where we would catch up on all things D/s. He said that we would go to bed in good time, I would complete our bedroom routine as usual and then I would present myself for a caning session. I think I was probably apprehensive about whether or not it would hurt and I wondered what would happen if I was not in the mood. It was during our Wednesday discussion that he first suggested it so we were able to talk about some of these things.  Continue reading

Submissive Questions

the-cognitive-triangle-one-time-through3All behaviour is communication whether it is based on something that you say or something that you do. So the way you behave will say something to those around about you about what you are thinking and what you are feeling.  Your behaviour will also provoke a thought, a feeling and a subsequent response from other people too and I think that this is an important thing to remember, especially when thinking about how and what you are communicating to others. Continue reading