I do realise that completus is a made up word, but this is the continuation of my last post Evening Interruptus. Having had our plans for Wednesday evening’s play foiled, Sir had postponed things until Friday when we would, hopefully, be alone again. Friday was a little more tricky than Wednesday due to the fact that it was the end, rather than just the ‘hump’, of a very difficult week. By the time I came home from work I was exhausted and felt like the tears would flow at any sign of comfort, never mind something more intense and physical. However, HisLordship being as he is, had taken note of that as well.
We began where we had left off with the instruction to get dressed, or rather undressed, into one of Sir’s shirts. I was to wear nothing else, but he had considerately had the heating on so the house was already warm. Rather than moving quickly into collar time, he had prepared a meal which we enjoyed as we talked. We spent a good bit of the evening laughing and enjoying each other’s company and by the time we went upstairs, I was feeling much less tired and a bit more human. My instruction was to have a bath and then to wait on the bed, with my face and upper body lying flat and my bum raised high in the air.
This is a position that it has taken a long time for me to feel comfortable in. It is so exposing and makes me feel quite vulnerable, however, I have become more used to it and my confidence has slowly grown so that now I still feel that vulnerability but it translates into excitement rather that discomfort. It seemed a long time until Sir came into the room but when I heard him I felt my body twitch inside. He began with an inspection, which I always enjoy as it deepens my submissive mindset straight away. He stroked my body, taking his time as he took in the smell and feel of me. He does this to remind us both that I am his.
Sir told me that he would be using the paddle on me. He said that although he would begin with the soft fur side, he would quickly move to the sting of leather and would not spare me as he felt that we both needed this to be hard. True to form, this is what he did, the slap of the paddle getting quickly more biting and fierce. I felt myself slipping quickly into it and craving the harsher blows. He stopped at points to touch me and I became dreamy in my response to both the pleasure and the pain. When he sensed there was no resistance from my body or my mind, he injected me with lube and filled me with a glass plug.
For several hours he used me fully, in a hard and intense way. He did what he wanted to me; my connection to my body was only through him by this point, and I simply responded to the sensations he provided, without any real thought. To experience yourself through someone else sounds impossible but I know enough to know that others feel this way too. It was harsh and unforgiving and extreme but it was what we both needed, he was right. Sometimes I think we need the darkness and the depth of these experiences to feel whole and complete in ourselves, as much as it also completes us together.
For all the roughness of the main part of our scene, the end was, like the beginning, so gentle. We held each other, still feeling heightened from the experience, and eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms. I never feel safer or more secure than after this sort of exchange. The realisation that Sir has given me exactly what I needed makes me feel closer to him than ever. As we grow and develop in all of this, it surprises me where we go. The trust and understanding we share surpasses what I had ever expected, and knowing that we are still moving forward on this journey together fills me with anticipation and excitement for what the future will bring.