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Cock Therapy

I wrote about the role of oral sex in our relationship in my post, when giving meets receiving, and there I mentioned that we used it sometimes as part of our ritual for transitioning from work to home mode and also sometimes to reset our dynamic. I also explained that over the time we have been in a D/s relationship, my attitude towards it has changed and it has become much more meaningful as an act than it used to be for me. As a Dominant, obviously these things are Sir’s choice and, he has taken advantage of my desire to serve him in this way. However, I think over the years, it has become much more than that for me.

I have found that at times when I am feeling emotional and craving a connection with him, it is something that I will want to do; sometimes this is actually more of a feeling of need rather than want. There is something so comforting about sucking his cock and it is really difficult to explain.  I am sure that Freud would have an analysis straight away, and maybe there is something about finding this act so reassuring which is deep rooted in our psychology, but what I do know is that this has been a change that has come with the growing connection between us. Clearly the ritual will reinforce the use of sucking him in this way, as things can so easily become linked through experience, so I do appreciate that is a big part.

One thing it makes me feel is safe, and this is so important when life has left you feeling vulnerable. It is reassuring in its familiarity. I think that it is also something which I focus on so that empties my head of the negative thoughts straight away and I quickly become absorbed in what I am doing. The resultant feeling of a weight being lifted is then linked with the action and therefore it becomes therapeutic in its effect. Somehow, it brings a profound sense of well being. Some days I walk home from work feeling emotionally drained and think that if only I can make it back, fall to my knees and take him in my mouth then everything will be ok.  And if this is possible, it usually does make everything better again. Afterwards, I feel calmer, I feel safe and I feel loved.

The intimacy of it is also a huge part. To be so physically close to someone that you feel so strongly about is a huge relief when you have felt any sense of distance from them; this feeling of distance can happen to me when I am dealing with emotions as these are internal, so even when I discuss and share them, they are something that I have often felt on my own. That physical contact where I am so close and intertwined with him, that I feel that I have become part of him actually means that any tension or anxiety just seems to drain away as I become the person I really want to be. Everything else is suddenly distant and has little relevance to the here and now. Putting some distance between that and me, helps to provide perspective and let me re-establish the balance of what is really important to me. I suppose it is a reminder of who I really am.

Being able to please Sir is another key part. His response will make me feel good about myself. I think it makes me feel very submissive and he, very Dominant, just by the nature of the act. We are both in a position where we are vulnerable to the other, but it is easy for Sir to move things in the direction he wants them to go. If I have asked for it because I feel it is something that I need, he will usually let me feast on him in my own way. However, if it is something he has instigated because he has seen my need, then he will be much more controlling and directive in terms of what he wants to happen.  I like both of these and am glad that it is not always one way. Being able to please him through my own actions is as important to me as being able to please him by following his instructions well. So where my mind has wandered from my submission and life has meant that other things have got in the way, it acts again as a form of therapy, leaving me feeling much stronger than I did before.

Being able to please Sir through my own actions is something which is really important to me and cock worship is another aspect of that. I feel that is more where I do it because it is for Sir, rather than when I do it because there is a need in me, although the two are very closely connected. The motivation behind it and effect of it can be very different though so that is not something that I am going to write about now as I would rather focus on that in another post. I wanted to write about the role that oral sex has for me in terms of healing or managing certain emotions and in helping to restore me to being the person that I want to be when I have wobbled or toppled a little from that. Last week I struggled to make the transition from 24/7 submissive to Sir during the holidays, to being back at work, and the shift and challenges that brought; this was a time that I really valued and craved his Dominance, but it was also a time when I felt vulnerable, so being able to get lost and found again through something so simple, was just exactly what I needed.

Related posts: Two FacedTwo Faced Update and Oral Sex; when giving meets receiving

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3 thoughts on “Cock Therapy

  1. I completely get where you are coming from. I too do this for my own benefit sometimes. Especially after hard days. Ones where my head is all over. There is peace in being able to focus on only one thing. And getting that connection we crave at the same time.

    Liked by 2 people

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