Home » Submissive Journal » Little Ramble on Promises

Little Ramble on Promises

via Daily Prompt: Promise

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I promised to try to put you first; to keep you at the forefront of my mind and think of you, especially when I was faced with a situation I was unsure about.  I promised to open up and to show you all of me (or as much of me as you wanted).  I told you that I wanted you to lead and that I would follow your direction instead of forging ahead on my own.  I promised to try to be what you wanted, to support you and to fulfil your fantasies.  I said that I would not block things you suggested anymore and recognised that much of that was because I was afraid of myself or afraid that I might not match up to being what you wanted.  I promised to meet your needs and to let you meet mine; to let you take care of me and to make me feel special.  I promised not to contradict you and to trust you to show me a better way to be, to accept myself as you accepted me and to respect that fact that you had chosen me and wanted me.  I also promised to want and to need you.

I have tried my best to meet these promises I made.  I have not always managed to do it as well as I could have or should have but I have done it as well as I was able at the time. The wanting you was easy, the needing you was much harder; it made me feel vulnerable but that meant that I relied on you more and that has become a positive. I have found that life makes it difficult sometimes to behave as we should and accept that things do not always go the way we expect.  I have learnt that old habits die hard and that they can be very difficult to break.  I have also learnt that when we are under pressure we revert to type and fall back on the old way of doing things. I have watched myself let the baggage of my past try to stop me from achieving what I set out to do.  But in all of this I have had your support, your love and your commitment, and that has meant that I have been successful more often than not.  I have found friends who shared the same challenges and frustrations I do and they have patiently listened to me and helped me to see the path I should be on and how to get back there.  More than anything, I have had you and that has made all of the difference, because for every promise that I made you made one too.

 

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11 thoughts on “Little Ramble on Promises

  1. I’ve been rolling this post around in my mind since it appeared. Part of that is due to the image. I love that image. I stumbled across it at a time of conflict and saved it. About a year ago I wrote a post centered around it. The topic was an enticement of others to communicate well and “see” one another. Your post is almost an answer to mine and the use of that image (only other place I’ve seen it was the original source) was ironic.

    Your dedication is commendable.

    Liked by 1 person

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