I have always considered myself fortunate in that I am able to orgasm quite easily. I was aware that statistically I was one of the lucky ones but never really thought that much about it. When it first happened I was pretty young and it wasn’t until much later that I found out that what I had been experiencing had a name. Whether it had a name or not, I knew after the first time that it was one of the best feelings I had experienced and I wanted to feel it again. And again.
Since starting D/s my orgasms have become more intense, more frequent and more varied. By varied, I mean that I have experienced different types of orgasm from different types of play. I don’t think I had realised before that there were more than a few different types, but through exploring our kink in this way, we have opened the door to a whole different world. Before this I would have taken the heat out of a situation with too many questions whereas now I am happy just to follow, my mind and tongue at rest. Well, not the tongue so much, but it works now only under instruction rather than using it to voice my concerns. I am at peace and as such am free to relax and let Sir take me where he wants me to go.
Orgasms through masturbation have pretty much stopped for me now. This was something I had done since childhood and am still surprised that it is no longer something that I turn to. When we began this journey, Sir made it clear that my orgasms were his and he would give and take them as and when he chose. Rather than this feeling odd, it was something that actually thrilled me and the desire to pleasure myself has all but gone. He will, of course, instruct me to do this at times, but that is his choice and not something I would ask for.
I think that orgasms are good for you. In Victorian Britain they were used as a treatment for female hysteria, with Doctors even inventing the first vibrators specifically for their treatment: Ooooh! I think I can feel a historical medical scene coming on. Or a hysterical medical scene. I knew that steampunk outfit I wore to Torture Garden would come in handy again! But seriously, I have felt all the better for my ‘treatment’. I think that the freedom I have got has allowed me to let go. I have also lost a lot of the inhibitions that I had before and am not so self conscious. I enjoy enjoying myself because I know that is what Sir wants and that he is taking pleasure in the pleasure he is giving me.
This has meant that things have really stepped up and the feelings have become much stronger. At the right time and place he can count me down to an orgasm which is not somewhere that I ever really saw myself as being. I used to control things myself by choosing the images in my head that would accompany me to climax, but now my mind is clear and I am focussed just on the sensations that I am being given. I think that this has made all the difference and has allowed it to move from something physical to a deeper emotional response. I suppose it is just another part of me that belongs to Sir. This has been a pretty big change although it is one that has happened slowly. For me, the knowledge that we are gradually changing is exciting as I really have no idea where any of this will go next.