By 24/7 D/s, I mean that the foundations of the Dominant/submissive dynamic are woven throughout our relationship. These foundations are open communication, honesty, trust, respect and love. We have made a commitment to one another to be submissive (me) and Dominant (Sir) to one another and this is something we try to do for one another all the time. That is the headspace we try to be in and if we slip, we rely on the other to get us back on track. It does not mean that I am actively submitting to him all of the time and neither is he actively dominating me all of the time.
When I am at work I am concentrating on doing my job well and my focus is there as it should be. The same is true for my Sir. When we are with our family, we are parents and a team and sometimes the needs of the kids will be put before our own and I think that is normal. Some in the lifestyle may argue that this is not 24/7 D/s and by their own definition it may be that I would agree. I don’t really believe in labels but am aware that sometimes it makes it easier to slap one on and once my Sir and I accepted that what we were doing was D/s even though we were doing it our own way and in a way which suited us and our family, we felt much more at ease. We were no longer trying to attain some ideal we had read in a book somewhere – we were just living it and it became ttwd.
If there had been a rule book then it might be that we would have felt we had failed and given up so, although it was difficult to forge our own path, I feel that it was the right thing for us. No two relationships are ever the same and I don’t believe that there is one true way. What we did has worked for us and two years down the line, we are still living according to the dynamic that we agreed together at the beginning. Obviously it has grown and changed as all things do, but it has done that with us and at a pace that suits us which has been really important. I realise that there is a wealth of experience and knowledge out there and I don’t mean to cause offence to anyone or set myself up as some sort of expert, which I am certainly not, so I have to stress that I am just writing from my own experience and about how it was for us and how we got here.